relationship Tag

The Grass is Greener, To the Patches of Dirt in my Lawn

Cultivating a Gorgeous Lawn

The Grass is Always Greener, To the Brown Patches of Dirt in my Lawn, On Love and Life

The grass is always greener, the crab grass, the blue grass, the sea grass, I see it out there as one whose mind is prone to perpetual comparisons, squinting eyes contemplating between the haves and have not’s. My front lawn has large cavernous patches of dirt, etched amidst sparse littering’s of grassy blades. It’s something that really bothers me, sometimes in the way too early morning hours I lay awake and think about how to solve this problem, I should admit that I pride myself upon being a solver of life’s hasty demands. Yet this one has riddled me, how did this muddy pit get here? Once or twice I have even tried picking up all of my belongings and moving to a new home, so beside myself with this shoddy yard that I convinced myself to find a completely new house, a house with the dream lawn of my most romantic fantasies. I am not the only person to notice the grass, the grass provides the frame of ones home, the foundation for ones life, a connection to the earth, this is about so much more than the “grass,” it’s a part of ones identity, how does one manicure what is imperfect? How to maintain esteemed pride when the very things which frame my tidy house fail to meet my very own lofty standards of, “how it all should be.” Does one still thrust a pole into the lawn with a kitschy flag to commemorate each of the holidays? Does one dabble large planters upon the grass and fill them with marigolds and petunias? Maybe nobody will notice those miserable barren patches if I simply abandon all responsibility and allowing the lawn to grow long and wild, perhaps to revel in the mysterious and primal Amazonian nature of it. Coveting thy neighbors grass can become an obsession. A soothing Sunday drive to clear the mind and where am I? I am not in conversation with my fiancé who is stoically manning the wheel, I careen my neck from outside of his finely tuned automobile. I see the emerald spikes encasing the lawns of this neighbor and that, evoking for me a sense of desirous melancholy. Things can rapidly careen out of control, thoughts becoming high jacked, not wanted to walk out of the house to have someone see that this is my lawn, not wanting to be associated with those cursed drab patches of barren earth. I see my neighbors flaunting theirs, the grass that sparkles, those majestic little studs bolding jutting out from the earth, with their implicit meaning that any abode which has such grass is perfectly cared for, is more than a house, it is a home. I too want the kind that feels like that springs beneath bare feet and smells like a musky blend of lemon tart and pine needle. There are countless books written about landscaping and gardening, one can use seed or sod, barricade it to be sure nobody walks on it, or then too, one could walk on it with high heels to aerate, or perhaps enhance the soil with worms, for every curiosity help is a YouTube video, a google, or a guru away . Yet none of them say this: After a very long and drawn out rest, a celestial providence of an epiphany struck down upon me, opening up my mind with a shiny insight; nobody else is going to fix my lawn, moving isn’t going to help me find better grass, it is my very technique to tending the lawn which is lacking. It’s easy to get frustrated too much, to turn away from picnics in the grass because it doesn’t look, smell, or feel the way that one imagined it “should”. Soil samples and sod wont alleviate this eternal pondering for the clue to change the grass for good, there is a really simple way to enjoy the grassy knoll of ones dreams. Yet like all things worth cultivating, it will not be easy, lace up the old work boots and jean coveralls.

Seeing areas for growth

It all starts by loving the grass, those darling petite seedlings only dare rupture the earth for promise of the warming sun, give your grass warmth. Yes, I know my child, in this moment we see only barren patches of earth but I urge you to go out there and love them anyways, not just to say it but to do it, planting glorious seeds of intention. Water those blades each and every day, fill your watering can to the brim with hopeful water, set aside a collection of rainwater, the earth loves the water best which has danced amidst the clouds. Tend to your petite parcel of earth each day, when tired wield your soil crusted shovel, when fantasizing about a tropical holiday, one still must tend to the lawn. You see, I have learned something, our response to our imperfections, to those earthen patches of mud, does indeed determine our opportunities for growth. How do you tend to the patches of mud upon your lawn? Anyone can marvel at that which has been luxuriated with advantageous wonder but it takes one dedicated and master gardener to persevere with fortitude, to love a little earthen patch into a fully bloomed, springy and lustrous lawn. Just what is it in you or your relationship which just may need a little more love to blossom forth with life?

 Dreaming of spring time grass, Stephanie McCracken MSPC Reviving Minds Therapy Offering Marriage or Couples Counseling and Psychotherapy 1010 Western Avenue Pittsburgh Pa 15233 *This is an intentional fictional piece and similarity to real or actual events is sheer cosmic coincidence…

Tight Hugs I Like; A Psychotherapists Musings

Tight Hugs I Like; A Psychotherapists Musings

Tight hugs we like

It could be risky to admit this but here it goes anyway, I judge people, in social settings I categorize  to such a grand degree, some may say I can hardly help myself. You see, I rank people based on how they hug. When it comes to hugs, they are certainly not all the same. For example, my grandmother, she was a woman who knew how to wallop out a good old-fashioned, full on, closed-arm, hug. Of course she was blessed with a constitution of advantages being a billowy woman who with her puffy arms was capable of ensconcing me in a way that warmly emitted rapture. When I am meeting, enjoying, and connecting, I always cherish most those folks who know how to put extra endurance on the squeeze, those are my people the kind, warm, close, hug-loving people.

Hugs are kind of like the word “love” in regards to the way we have come to dole them out socially. We hug upon meeting and greeting, at every social and familial function, it’s inextricably woven into the fabric of our social essence yet I wonder if the more that we do it, the less care we pause to exert that extra “umph” into its meaning and effort, somehow causing it to lose its magical luster. Like the carelessly tossed “love you” which punctuates the end of conversations over iPhones and peppered unto friendly discourses. The whole thing makes me melancholy, myself being a women known to exhibit a propensity for intensities of passion, I know that the altitudes of love are not unleashed when we lube up every good bye with “luv you.” My fiancé and I have a rule between us that we only say those words when we are superbly overcome with loves sentiments and can offer proper tone and intimations to its grander meaning and I think hugs should be the same.

We can enter a discussion into the mounting scientific evidence which identifies oxytocin and other alchemical neurochemicals and their vast proliferation upon the synapse during human contact, a full 20 second hug ranks best in stress relief, bonding, relationship healing, it’s sort of like a love serum. Yet I really only need to think about the mutually enveloping sensation provoked upon a tight, warm, and long hug and I already know- this is the sweet spot, this is indeed where the magic happens; tight hugs I like.

Air Kisses

Perhaps we best know the tight hug by its inverse, the dowdy anticlimax of the one-armed, limited contact encounter, this is the person who offers one limp and paltry arm to the embrace, their hand barely grazing the others back. Sort of like its phony cousin, the air-kiss, quite popular in Europe and Hollywood. These pseudo-signs of affectionate encounter make me wonder “Good gracious Darling!!! Why are we even bothering with a hug?!” Perhaps these people are better temperamentally suited for handshakes or high fives, which is simply fine but please don’t spoil the hug. Still there are others who fumblingly attempt the hug with a gapping distance between their bodies, as they lean in with their chest, their hand taps upon their would-be comrades back. I watch imagining that fluttering hand so close to a warm embrace yet the hand will not rest nor envelop their friend, they will not anchor them down, pulling friends nor acquaintances in, ever missing the full embrace. I sigh watching their leaning chests and tapping hands, saddened by what I imagine to be their trembling fear of connection.

Perhaps I am a romantic as somewhere in my heart of hearts I know that maybe some of us are destined to be less than adequate huggers, the ecstasy of a limb-locked, enduring hug is not something that one can enjoy with everyone. The dreamer in me is helpless to float upon imaginary visions of a world teeming with propensities towards deep, soul-strewn connection, flowery displays of oozing, syrupy, love. Where we hug it out in the market place with arms firmly enveloping the neck, with chests pressing chest, body rocked embraces like pillars of hope amidst the coffee shops and promenades. Can you imagine such a place, an earth where we envelop each other more freely and shamelessly, where hugs mean something and the tight vibration of muscles grid locked around each other thrumming into the hollows of our insides, where we move into the distances, stomping out those numbing chasms and we commence upon celebration of full bodies connections. Tight hugs I like.

Exuding robust love,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

Reviving Minds Therapy

1010 Western Avenue Pittsburgh pa 15233

412-322-2129 [contact-form-7 404 "Not Found"]

On the Border and Crossing The Line, Recovering from a Close Encounter of Another Kind

For any of you who have felt yourself a part of a relationship which was dizzying in its highs and staggering in its lows, no matter how brief or long, your head very well may be feeling woozy in recalling the rapidity of its pace. While there are indeed many personality types and pathologies which can lead themselves to destructive cycles in the interpersonal domain, we will today briefly explore Borderline Personality Disorder and what this kind of encounter may mean for someone who is attempting to heal and recover in its wake. Much literature has focused on the trait of borderline personality disorder as it relates to women yet in recent years clinicians have noted that there may be a growing number of males who meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder.

While there are many typologies of the borderline character structure there will undoubtedly be an intensity to the initial meeting phase. For a woman meeting a borderline male it’s likely that she will be dazzled and showered with heaps of attention and affection, “at last a male who seems to thrive upon open emotional discourse”. Despite all of those enchanting words and the promise of the sort of intimate encounter that one has been eagerly waiting for, the Borderline male or female will inevitably change as soon as he or she detects that you have been won over. What was once Casanova like attention and praise will become brooding and coldness, likely even implacable possessiveness. The conundrums lies within the fact that the more closely one moves to the center of a borderline person’s inner constitution the more resistance that one will note. The borderline has a hallmark knack for stirring up fights and dramatic interplays which make them feel more alive, the function of the heated angst is to shield against the emptiness of their true center. A borderline likely has suffered some trauma or abuse in early childhood and the sustainment of true emotional intimacy is a most insurmountable task for this person. If this cursory note sounds like someone you or a loved one now or eventually it will be important to seek professional help and be careful. If you are in the process of leaving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (or any other domestic abuser) this is the most dangerous time. The Borderline Personality will not respect or note boundaries or have any qualms about stalking or seeking to ruin a victim’s life. Their key note is abandonment and the game stakes have just begun increased for the borderline when a friend, lover, or casual acquaintance is attempting to diverge on life’s path. This often recreates a point of abandonment, abuse or neglect that the borderline had experienced in early childhood. The borderlines inability to come to terms with healthy boundaries and no means no mentality makes them a typical recipient of restraining orders and PFA’s.

Yet many people who are in a relationship with a person suffering from Borderline Personality disorder may not recognize the issue until months or even years into it, this is true even for intelligent and successful people who maintain such vivid memory of the courtship or fall victim to the Borderlines intense need to recouple after falling apart. If you were or are in relationship with a person who exhibits Borderline personality traits or a full blown disorder there is a chance that you too have had some trauma in your childhood or adulthood which puts you at risk to accept this kind of attachment. It can be significantly challenging to see the signs of the disorder as the Borderline is very skilled at using something clinicians call “Gaslighting,” for instance when this person goes into one of their episodic fight picking modes they will literally leave their victim with the feeling that it was their fault, they may cause a friend or partner physical, emotional, spiritual harm yet they will always leave their victim believing that they are to blame or even deny that anything even happened. The Borderline also may exhibit martyr like tendencies, spewing to all who will listen of how much they love their victim and how much they have suffered for their love, they can even make bystanders believe that the victim is the crazy one during their epic and frequent altercations. If you recognize yourself in either part of this description you may want to seek the help and advice of a psychotherapist or other mental health professional.

While diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder is the domain of a psychological professional who has been trained to administer measures and tests, here is the DSM IV-TR criteria for achieving the diagnosis.

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by 5 or more of the following.

1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that could potentially be self-damaging. (Spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating.)

5) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

6) Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually only lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days.)

7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.

8) Inappropriate and intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

9) Transient stress related paranoid ideation or sever disassociate symptoms.

Keep in mind all of you singletons or those recovering from a whopping dating fiasco, that if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t, if someone is moving too fast for your comfort then there may be something underlying all of that intensity and there is never any case in life which should permit a healthy person from recognizing that within life, love, and conversation, no means no just as well as yes means yes. J

In good health and love,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

412-215-1986

Reviving Minds Therapy

1010 Western Avenue Pittsburgh Pa 15233

Marriage Counseling-My Love had an Affair—Repair or Run?

Even strong marriages suffer sometimes

As a psychotherapist who offers marriage counseling, affairs and their aftermath are sometimes ironed out amidst my office couch. Both parts of the couple struggle to make sense of the betrayal and its costs, they often  seek a professional to find the answers to questions such as; should we stay together, should we separate, will our relationship ever be “normal,” (whatever version that may be for you), again. For both of the lovers there are painful truths to identify, the person who was cheating must come to terms with his or her guilt and the person who was victimized by the cheating may wonder if it is acceptable to forgive or if this somehow means that they are weak or foolish. While the answers to all of the many questions are highly complex, completely personal, and entirely up to you, if the affair has been ended and both lovers actively choose to stay there are abundant ways that you will both be able to enjoy the effects of an enhanced love bond! Here are some of the reasons why your love can rebound from an affair and be even closer and more intimate than before, provided that you both are willing and able to put in the time and work to make some big changes through the healing process.

Healthy Conflict resolution leads to health relationships

1. The affair itself is a symptom of a greater and deeper underlying problem. That problem could be anything from one of the partners acting upon impulses from narcissism, entitlement, and or sex addiction, or that there are some deficits in the relational component. For example, when the relationship is stuck in a pattern of withholding, and or criticism, when it is lacking in warmth, passion, communication and sometimes this causes one of the parties to conclude that she or he should look outside of the commitment to fill certain interpersonal needs. The affair must be understood as a symptom but also, if it addressed successfully, within every problem is an opportunity for the solution to be uncovered. Now you are free to explore the solution to the underlying issue.
2. The time after the affair has been disclosed or discovered will be hallmarked by raw and real interaction, this kind of communication facilitates rebuilding. Obviously there will be a serious mourning phase caused by shattered trust and therefor many questions about who, what, when, where, and why. You both must be honest about what exactly is transpiring during this time. As the anguish ebbs allow the new to emerge. This honest and direct communication will feel refreshing as most often during an affair the communication had been stifled, the newfound open honesty will feel refreshing and serve as a great reminder to understand all of the ways that each partner was turning away from true intimate interaction previously.  
3. Your relationship will never be the same again and that very well could be a good thing considering the path to the affair is likely paved by anguish and deceit. Like a home that is being rebuilt there will be new walls and windows for the relationship, walls between the person who was conducting the affair and the man or woman who was facilitating the cheating, as well as shiny and new windows of transparency between the love partners. The windows should be framed in the light of honesty, openness, you may even want to place a chair nearby for reflective time, and renovations take time, work, and are not for the faint of heart!

To close and to be repetitive, the person who was having the affair must be completely honest and know that trust may not be given immediately or for a very long time to come. A message for the person who suffered the betrayal- recognize that you are healing within the cycle of grief. From anguish, anger, disbelief and all the way around you must place your long term intentions upon your healing and forgiveness for the cheating spouse. Keep your eyes on the prize however as if it is in your will, you both will eventually move beyond this troubling time and into a better relationship which will someday be capable of casting meaning upon this day when you are suffering the effect of the human misgivings of betrayal.

Sharing in happiness and love,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

412-215-1986

Reviving Minds Therapy

1010 Western Avenue Pittsburgh

Pa 15233 Suite 100

Aphrodisiacs—For Couples, Turning on your lust Valentine Treats

It’s Valentine’s Day, the time of year when romance and affection become central to our hearts and minds. What better way for you and your loved one to mutually celebrate your bond than with warm and flush cheeks, rapidly beating heart, and maybe even a dose of perspiration. Aphrodisiacs promise to invoke all of these responses and much more. Aphrodisiacs have long been revered for their power to make men stand a bit taller and women’s blood to rush with desire. The term seems to have come from ancient Greece and their Goddess “Aphrodite” the goddess of love. The fascination with desire invoking serums and tinctures did not end with the Greeks, time seems to have inflamed our human impulse to create that symposium of flavors which will invoke our less easily satiable appetites. For any of us in a long term loving union, single, or dating, Valentine’s Day is a most spell inducing context to permit ones appetite to be beckoned towards gluttony. Please remember that the magically seductive properties of the following aphrodisiacs will be dually heightened if shared within a loving atmosphere spellbound by the flicker of candle light, melodiously chattering conversation, and maybe even the wafting sweet aroma of flowers.  

Truffles-The truffle has remained one of the most sought after delicacies throughout time, it is earthy and woody with a delicate pungency which is sure to inflame each and every one of the senses. The white truffles is even more esteemed than the black and either way if you want to be certain that your lover erects gratitude, deliver a touch of this refined flavor. They are an excellent accompaniment to dress upon most any meat or vegetable. The process by which the mushrooms are discovered is equally fascinating as they are excavated by pigs which are ever attracted to the pheromones the mushrooms emit. Pheromones may also contribute to the Truffles aphrodisiac qualities as they contain the same chemicals which are found within human sweat, which believe it or not is lust enhancing chemical.

Garlic– There is indeed something mystical about this potent and “stinking onion”. Modern days prize it for its anti-microbial functions, high antioxidant content, and gourmands revere its bold taste. Garlic contains the active compound Allicin, this has the alchemical property of increasing blood flow which is sure to heighten lust. This aphrodisiac is best enjoyed by pairs of two lest you want your lover to be repelled much like the mythical vampires which it purportedly scatters to the distant winds.

Oils-From cold pressed organic extra virgin olive oil to the myriad of nut oils there are so many uses and pleasures to be associated with each. Any lover whose impulse towards tasty pleasures is so misaligned to express derision for the fat yielding content of the oils while not undressing its delicate flavors and propensity towards viscosity should remain far from the prep station. By lavishly soaking your finest cut of meat or vegetables in a seasoned concoction of oil, the dish will be rendered ready for the sizzling heat of a sear or sauté while still retaining its internal moisture! I personally assure you that most any food which bursts with moisture has aphrodisiac qualities.

Honey-The creation of laborious effort by tiny bees, buzzing about from flower to flower, fertilizing as they zip through the air, anything born of fertilization certainly qualifies as an aphrodisiac. Ever wonder why newlyweds go on a honeymoon? Historically they were given a jug of mead upon their departure, mead is a drink made from sensual enhancing fermented honey. Cleopatra is said to have used honey in the art of seduction by sharing it with her lovers amidst her erotic regions. If you haven’t found enough reasons to get yourself a large vat of honey, you can also note that honey is bursting with boron which is a metabolite of estrogen a hormone playing a role in arousal for both men and women.

Oysters– There is indeed something lurid and suggestive about the shape of the oyster, Casanova is purported to have consumed more than 50 of these pearl producing gems every day through his life. The salty and sea water infused flesh is teeming with zinc which aids in the production of testosterone, strong hormonal balance certainly heightens the arousal phase of any steamy interlude.

Dark Chocolate– Esteemed as a nectar of the gods and at one time reserved for only the royalty. In fact, Montezuma made a daily ritual of consuming a hot cocoa which was infused with chili peppers which are known to invoke their own power over the appetites of lust. Simultaneously, we offer chocolates to loved ones during most every holiday as tryptophan activates our brains pleasure centers.  Of course, any quality chocolate the sensual properties are further exacerbated with the accompaniment of pleasant company, laughter and perhaps even a glass of wine.

Enjoy the Aphrodisiacs friends, fans, and lovers and always remember that the greatest lust enhancing potion is that which is enjoyed from the sultry warmth of a healthy and loving relationship!

Love and warmth,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

412-215-1986

Reviving Minds Therapy

1010 Western Avenue

Pittsburgh Pa 15233

http://www.alternet.org/story/132846/the_top_10_aphrodisiac_foods?page=0%2C1

http://gourmetfood.about.com/od/holidayspecialtyfoods/ss/aphrodisiacfoods_17.html

Why Searching for a Soul Mate is Damning to Love and Other Thoughts on Marriage Counseling

Why Searching for a Soul Mate is Damning to Love

“Love isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it is a practice.”
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

Soul mates, the stuff of fantasies, dreams come true, love at first sight and also quite likely among the reasons you may find yourself hurling towards disappointment when encountering real life love! A soul mate is a notion born from Christianity, the story is simple; at one time all souls frolicked in their natural and divine state of male female merger, we were celestial and reflecting wholeness. Then our souls were ripped apart and cast down to the earth leaving us with a longing which can only be subsided by the reunion of ourselves with our one “other half”. An interesting fact is that the western world nations practicing Christianity and love marriages suffer from exorbitantly high divorce rates compared to nations which may have practiced arranged marriages where the emphasis becomes working towards harmony.

 A soul mate unintentionally dismisses the actual and expansive realities of true love by instead distracting a would-be lover with damaging beliefs such as “love at first sight.” In the soul mate version of love, emptiness and longing are the implications of living without ones eternal mate and the only remedy appears as the divine salve upon having found ones soul mate. When pirouetting from life’s various stages, including romantic encounters one may easily fall susceptible to the guise that wholeness has been reached, sustaining the faulty belief that the soul has become whole in those first throes of ecstatic merger.  I assure you that any relationship which is built upon the understanding that perfection will be reached by the merging of two halfs, falsely acting upon the understanding that wholeness is only sustained by consolidating two empty jars; any such union will erode and suffer from disappointment and ensuing bitter resentment among a host of other maladies. Do not despair for this is no argument against love, this is a cautionary semblance meant to yield the reader towards a more mature and viable assembly of the hearts potential melodic chord!

I do not want to execute your love but I do want to help you to develop realistic expectations for romance and loving feelings. Love is not a magical act whereby to opposites attract or two fateful spirits find their missing piece. The act of loving is a skill set, to love is a verb implying that there is some action, exertion of effort, a labor of love indeed. Thus far we have established that love takes work and love requires two whole parts. A loving union offers many challenges but its rewards are tenfold. How does one find the harmonious chord when bringing together two humans with their own unique set of wants, needs, values, manners of loving and being? The answer is carefully, mindfully, and with intention.

Ways to move beyond the notion of soul mate and develop strong and healthy relationships

Approach from wholeness Feeling sad, lonely, inadequate? These are not places from which a healthy relationship can be born, a “soul mate” meant to complete your empty parts is a set up for failure. Equally for all of the white knights and Florence Nightingales, it may somehow speak to your fractured  psyche to purchase a fixer upper but saving someone else or teaching them art of living skills will inevitably be dehumanizing and resentment building for both parties.  The best we can ever do is to hone our own self-worth, know our ever evolving abilities and work to create some confidence in them so that we can enjoy sharing those attributes with others who can extend the very same!

Love takes work One must be willing to exert effort in the creation of a smooth and solid relationship. This will require you to leave behind the infantile suggestion of perfect mergers manifested by the divine, the stuff of this world requires honing interpersonal skills, speaking and being authentically, embodying compassion, trust, care, believe, compromise, caress, challenge. The list could go on forever indeed but I am sure most of you are already aware of that!

Know thy self, Socrates may have been the first to mention, the unexamined life is not worth living! Get to know yourself and develop a strong loving relationship with you! If you are hiding a ton of shame or uncertainties about the car you drive, your job, your interests and you want to create a relationship with someone able to “show you the way” then I assure you that even if you do meet a potential love match you will be starting the relationship off on shaky ground. Have respect for your unique being and as you become better equipped to share your presence authentically you will be far more likely to create similar relationships, the kind based on mutual likes, passions, values, and respect.  

Don’t expect too much but never settle Sometimes settling may mean allowing the relationship or the self to fall into deterioration during the course of long term togetherness. Nurturing love requires one to constantly grow, maintain physical, emotional, spiritual growth.  That which remains stagnant and rigid is bound to break but that which eternally renews shall remain strong and vital like the river flowing.  

Forget about finding the perfect fairy tale lover, evolve into the best “YOU” Often in relationships men and women tirelessly search for that other who will allow the harmony and happiness to flow into their life. Yet beyond creating love based upon compatible personality, values, and interests that which prohibits the loving union is often to be found within our very own selves. As Rumi so profoundly proffers “Seek not for love but to remove all of the barriers within oneself which prevent it.”

I leave you with this contemplation, what part of you can be removed so that you my friends and readers are best able to share a love?

With a warm heart and lots of love,

Stephanie M McCracken MSPC

(412-215-1986)

Reviving Minds Therapy

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

http://www.divorcerate.org/divorce-rate-in-india.html