There are three common pitfalls that prevent us from reaching the layer of deeper intimate exchanges.
- Lack of understanding. There are many people who simply have not developed the skills to communicate this way.
- Inattention. In a world full of demands and “not enough time”, we sometimes fail to prioritize communication with our partner, or fail to recognize their attempts to create closeness.
- Hostile defensiveness. We hear our partner’s needs and get irritated, feeling that their requests or thoughts are casting a shadow onto our ego. It’s the ‘how could you think that?!!’ attitude that facilitates a cascade of hurt feelings and missed opportunities for understanding.
The above pitfalls prevent against emotional intimacy and understanding between two married or dating partners. Instead, both partners helplessly slide down the landslide of ineffective communication; we ignore, dismiss, and become irritated at our partners attempts at deep conversation