by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghJuly 14, 2016 counseling, mindfulness, psychology, psychotherapy, wellness0 comments
Mindfulness in Motion, Moving Beyond Anxiety
“Now days everyone replaces their emotions with Fear” Paulo Coelho
How much of our joy, our comfort, our desire do we replace with the sensation of fear and anxiety? We gain the promotion but then immediately start to wonder how will we maintain it; will we have the time required to devote to our new station? We buy the house but before we even close on it we start to panic about lawn care, taxes, the neighbors seemed a bit odd. After 3 years of the single life we meet the perfect partner but obsess nervously about whether they have called or texted back, do they like us, are we saying the right things? If any of this sounds familiar then please read on.
Often our tendency toward fearful or anxious thinking is so ingrained that we often don’t even realize that what we are experiencing is anxiety in action, perhaps we notice only that we feel bad, sad, hopeless, always keyed up and hyper aware. or maybe riddled with physical sickness. Often when we are adrift in the gravity of this emotional process we may simply think that we are mulling about the possibilities or that we are preventing these bad things from happening by considering them beforehand. The concern is that when we think so deeply about all of the possible negative crisis’s and downfalls that could happen in the future we are zapping ourselves of the opportunity to enjoy the peace and pleasantness of our joys now. We become so fixated on how we will acclimate to the managerial position that the joy and triumph of our promotions victory loses the wind from its sails before the ship leaves the port. This is one of the reasons that anxiety and depression are often co-mingled, anxiety is a feeling state which effects our perception, when we ruminate over the unrealized possibilities around each and every corner depression is often a natural out cursor.
If this is a somewhat familiar song and dance to you, then you may want to try some of these mindful tips to help reduce stress or anxiety.
- Become reflective of your mind’s process, that means mindfully noticing that you’re in an anxious thought cycle as it is happening. Mindfulness is a fantastic tactic in forming awareness of your psychological and emotional process which is the best first step toward change.
- When in an anxious state practice self-soothing, Imagine for a minute all of the situations that you have worried about that have never in fact happened, this is the equivalent of the self-soothing mantra, “everything will be ok.”
- Be patient with yourself. We sometimes get so crafty with our worrying that we then beginning worrying about the fact that we are worrying. No need to add an extra layer of anger, guilt or shame because you are noticing that you are worrying or fearful, remember that these thoughts shall pass as all thoughts and feeling states do. In fact, in a recent study published in psych central, the most helpful statement that one can make to a person experiencing anxiety or panic is that “this will pass, just as all feelings pass.”
- Psychotherapy, there are many forms of therapy which can help, commonly popular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an excellent intervention to make progress in changing maladaptive thought patterns.
May the best of luck and preparation guide you on your journey!
Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh and Monroeville
Contributed by Stephanie Wijkstrom, MS, LPC, NCC
830 Western Avenue
Pittsburgh Pa 15233
by Stephanie McCrackenFebruary 19, 2015 counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling, mindfulness, new year 2015, personal growth, psychology, psychotherapy0 comments
Are you one of those people who when asked what is wrong you cross your arms over your chest and say “Nothing.” Ever notice that some people just seem to hold the power of persuasion? Maybe your husband or wife is that very person. Do you ever feel that you give so much of yourself yet often end up feeling exhausted, overworked and burdened by too many tasks? Ever notice how some people seem to have it all, others seem to listen or at least hear them? Yes for some the world effortlessly and gladly brings about their wishes. Well perhaps they hold some spiritual secret, hiding away a genie in a bottle or the like but the truth is, many people who get what they want hold certain similarities. As a counselor I note one very vital difference, these people hone in on their own wants and needs and then communicate their needs and expectations using power driven language and thinking. This is not the first article that I have written about the power of communication and I urge, if you feel that others often don’t hear you or the world most often doesn’t bring you forth the wishes and things that you want it may be time to begin to consider a different method.
It is easy to fall into a pattern of frustration and even resentment when we notice that we don’t often get our needs met in our relationships. We may feel uncared for and unimportant, yet for these very reasons we continue to hold our feelings in silence thinking they less important that our partners, our children’s, our parents, everyone’s needs but our own. Perhaps we have subtle dropped the hint that we would like to go to a certain show or restaurant and our partner obliviously keeps picking the same place for monthly date night. Or maybe those grumbling noises that we make while carrying the third load of laundry up the stairs fail to elicit even the smallest response. Our husband or wife may be just as mystified by noticing that we are grumbling or sitting silently not eating during date night. These scenarios are quite common but perhaps it’s time to try a new more direct approach.
It is often helpful to begin by writing a fantasy list. It’s not something that needs to be shared with anyone so don’t be shy, what is it that you absolutely would like to see in your life? If you were able to have your way every day what would your ideal day look like? What are some things that you imagine your husband or wife could help you with? Also add in some things that you really are grateful for and that are going well. What are some things that you have kept to yourself for a long time that you imagine your partner would be surprised to learn? Remember it’s not good for either your loved one or you to hold in truths about thoughts and feelings. After writing your list spend some time looking over it, maybe put it away for a couple of days and then bring it back out to reread it. Does it still make sense and appear relevant? Things like “On the days that I work late I would rather we order take out.” Or “I really don’t want to go to my mother in laws every weekend.” “I would like to get two days per month to attend a fitness workshop.” While this sounds like a very simple or obvious task to some, the very process of considering ones wants and needs is completely out of touch for some personality types, we put ourselves lasts in hopes that someone else may put us first yet this is not a path which often leads to wholeness or happiness, instead of content we often end up feeling used, disappointed, sad and frustrated.
In health and wholeness,
Reviving Minds Therapy
Stephanie McCracken MSPC
Nicole Monteleone MA, LPC, NCCLearn More