by Stephanie McCrackenOctober 9, 2015 counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling, personal growth, popular culture, psychology, psychotherapy, wisdom0 comments
Tick, tock, tick, tock, allowing the sands of time to unfold into minutes, hours, days, years, reaching way back to the earliest memories that can be recollected; let us imagine that you are 5 years old again and enjoying those endless hours of playtime. When thinking of the word “playtime” what comes to mind for you? What is it that you enjoyed doing with that pure and unadulterated childlike bliss? Maybe you liked to bake or paint, collect insects, be a teacher in your classroom of dolls? Way before we knew whether we were good at something, or whether our talents and interests could make us money or gain us praise, social standing; way back then we followed our passion by the elegantly simple act of tinkering, entertaining, creating, learning with sheer delight. It is no wonder that as adults we long for those times when for most of us, things we just that simple, following ones bliss. As children most of us were free to simply enjoy what felt right and not take the time to consider what we were good at, what would pay the bills, what image we would like to portray as our life’s work, the time of innocence before road blocks and hurtles.
We explore these questions not to simply evoke the sensation of nostalgia but because our creative pleasures indicate something about our innate gifts and capacities. Each of us is born with purpose and potential and the more greatly we create a life which is aligned with the sharing of our pleasures and talents the more at peace we tend to be. Even if we have chosen a career simply for the financial opportunities we have gained we should still make time to regularly connect with that which we can become submerged in, the kind of creative play which takes our eyes off of the clocks and into our minds eye. What is that for you? For me, as young as 5 years old, I enjoyed writing, creating heaping piles of poems. What about you? Did you like to play the keyboard? Did you love to paint upon the easel? Did you enjoy playing in the kitchen and kneading dough? Did you construct toy trucks and cars? What was your passion or pleasure as a child? As adults some of us note with an air of melancholy, I have no energy, I am exhausted, I am not sure what the meaning of my life has become. If you struggle with these questions much like many others, maybe it would help to consider when did you take the time to connect with the inexhaustible wellspring of energy which is found through our passion. When we paint, draw, throw the ball around, we are not depleting our energy, we are in fact connecting with the part of our self which is bounteously full of enthusiasm and childlike joy.
It’s a wonder that any of us would ever stop doing that which has the potential to bring us such enjoyment. Often as teens and adults we begin to deviate from this kind of playfulness in search of being mindful of our time and not wasting it on that which is not useful. Some were shamed for their gifts, told by teachers of parents, “you don’t want to be ______, be educated in this, leave this behind now.” Often we are very sensitive about our talents, the most passionate are acutely in tune with the emotional world of ourselves and others. So we put away our paintbrush or drumstick and pick up our time card, marching on to the time piece of humanity. The most joyful people are often those who find a way to merge their passion into their life’s work, “The master of the art of living makes no difference between work and play, for him they are both the same.” The artists may serve as our teachers, to be like those, those who embrace an inner calling or take up hobbies in that which proffers them abundant connection with that creative part to themselves.
In tribal cultures, when a sad or anxious man or woman comes to the Shaman, the shaman will ask, “tell me my friend, so you are sick?” the tearful woman looks to the ground as she explains, “yes, yes, I am sick, I am so sad and I so often worry, I have no energy for life.”
The shaman, he brightens, “Oh, no worries, this is a problem that I understand! Tell me this my friend, when did you stop singing, when did you stop dancing? When did you stop laughing with life?”
In closing my friend, I ask of you to consider this question, if you were allowing yourself the opportunity to play, no judgement, no criticism, just melting into the opportunity to enjoy that which is amusing, that which is creative and unharnessed, that which brought you hours of entertainment as a young child, what is it that you would be doing?
In love and playfulness,
Stephanie McCracken MSPC
Nicole Monteleone MA, LPC, NCC
The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh
by Stephanie McCrackenAugust 1, 2013 counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling0 comments
You love your wife, husband, boyfriend, live in lover, you have remained together “insert number of years.” In fact you are so stricken with these pangs of warm and gooey feelings that you want to put in the extra effort that love sometimes requires of us to enhance our relationship bonds. Or, another possible consideration is that your relationship is in a slump and if this is the case you may have become aware of the fact that love does not tend its own growth. Regardless of how much time you may spend in your partner’s presence the difference between a quality relationship and a love that may be waning is often depicted in the quality of the time spent together. This is particularly true when a relationship may be suffering from the effects of deteriorating communication lines, conflicting schedules, the passage of time, strain upon one or both partners just to name a few. Besides couple’s therapy, there are a number of things that you may consider doing in our beautiful city to revitalize that loving connection that was once the highlight of your life.
- In Pittsburgh’s Cultural District there are several absolutely free galleries that are definitely must see’s! Space is on Liberty Avenue right downtown, even if you and your partner are not a beret wearing art aficionado, the instillation art is highly accessible to the laymen not to mention an interesting conversation starter, plus, did I mention that its free! http://www.spacepittsburgh.org/flash.html
- Take a long walk on one of the abundant river trails. We are lucky to live in a city that has a plentitude of water trails, some private and wooded while others permit a stroll next to the glittering metallic of the industrial laden skyline. Take advantage of man or natures bounty with your lover while hands remain clasped, a simple stroll can be so refreshing.
- Go shopping in the strip district markets and purchase a small amount of your favorite treats for a hiking excursion, take your picnic to one of the local parks. We are lucky to live in a city where there are a myriad of options, from Raccoon State Park to Morain State Park. At many of the parks you have the option of hiking or even renting a paddle boat which is fun and great exercise! http://www.dcnr.state.pa.us/stateparks/findapark/moraine/
- Take a ride on the incline and visit the startling heights of our city where you can admire the vista with your lover at the summit. While enjoying the sites, you can take the time to talk about the places you see that you have been together or the places that you would like to visit. http://www.duquesneincline.org/
- Create a couples vision board together, clip through books and magazines to create your ideal vision of where you would like to be in the next year or in 5 years. Plan together; this will give you both a chance to reconnect while understanding your own and your partners’ dreams. http://www.ehow.com/how_4494911_make-vision-board.html
- Peruse the Pittsburgh City Paper for outdoor concerts, even better you may stumble upon some that are absolutely free! From outdoor moonlit symphonies to indie rock, check out the ticket for lists! What speaks romance and excitement as much as enjoying the relaxing effects from the music in your ears. http://www.pghcitypaper.com/
- Enjoy one of the Paint and Wine events such as Corks and Canvases. These are paining classes that are targeted towards adults; you can go with your significant other and even a group of friends. While the cost may be a bit prohibitive for some, if it is within your budget it is well worth it to become creative making those “happy trees” while sipping a glass of wine. http://corksncanvas.com/
- Rent a Kayak, available on the river next to PNC Park or also available in Millville. Get your heart pumping with the renewal of romance and the fun of enjoying the city from a unique vantage point! This fantastic venue also offers bike rentals and the city of Pittsburgh boasts many wonderful trails.
I encourage you, the reader to share your own yinzer worthy way to REVIVE YOUR LOVE!
In love and health,
Stephanie McCracken MSPC
Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling
Reviving Minds Therapy
1010 Western Ave
Pittsburgh Pa 15233