by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghOctober 1, 2019 anxiety in children, child counseling, child psychologist0 comments
5 Ways to Soothe Anxiety in your Child
Whether your child is anxious or even has a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder, you have probably tried everything that you can think of to help them manage their emotions. Your daughter stays up all night worrying about show and tell tomorrow in school, she cries and repeats, ‘I know I am going to mess up, I will say something stupid and everyone will laugh at me!” Of course, you have seen this scenario happen before with your very concerned little one, and like most parents you want your child to see that there is nothing to fear, that they should simply stop thinking about it and go to sleep. Minimizing away worry, is the layman’s most common way of responding to other’s anxieties, we repeat things such as, ‘there is nothing to worry about,’ And at other times ‘try not to think about it.’ Experts have a different approach to managing and responding to anxiety that takes into account scientifically tested psychological methods to become well and relaxed. Below we have compiled a list of the best ways to manage your child’s anxiety according to a team of expert child therapists. These tips are most effective for children over the age of 6.
Start by labeling the emotion that your child is feeling. If we stick with the above example we might say, ‘You are really anxious about your show and tell tomorrow.’ Healthy emotional management always starts by identifying the feelings that are being exhibited instead of masking or shooing away what is being said.
Ask for more information, delve into the feeling with your child. Ask some questions like, ‘what is the scariest part about this for you?’ ‘what do you think could go wrong?’ ‘what do you feel in your body when you think about it?’ This is yet another way that we groom our children to have healthy emotional hygiene by digging in and practicing awareness of their physical responses and having a more global perspective of what is frightening them the most.
Validate the feeling, help them understand that everyone worries, has fears, and tends to think about things like this sometimes. When we are being honest with ourselves we too will realize that we definitely do have moments where our stress and worry are very high. One of the mechanisms which makes anxiety worse is when we build feeling constellations internally and feel ashamed, guilty, and abnormal for our feelings of concern. By helping our child understand that some worry is normal we can help them build a foundation of positive emotional health.
Reframe Can you help them think about some ways that is can be helpful to worry or be anxious about something that is happening in the future? In cognitive behavioral therapy we can this ‘reframe,’ when we change one maladaptive thought and we replace it with a healthier one. It may take some time to think it through with your child, ask them, ‘how can worrying about your performance help you?’ Brainstorm and imagine how sometimes when we worry, we may really want to do a good job with something, that sometimes we can also work hard to prepare when we are concerned.
Make Space for Worry- It is ok for your child to worry a little bit, as much as any parent wants to help their child we can not take away all of their fears and concerns and it may add more stress to the situation if we try too hard to make their anxious feelings vanish.
Remember to pay attention to your own feelings and responses to your child whenever they express their fears or anxieties to you. We know how overwhelming it can be as a parent who wants to make things right, try to take some breaths and notice any stress that you are feeling before you try to soothe your child. Even just by pairing a reflective moment and a long slow inhale into your body, you will be able to approach the situation with your best efforts toward being constructive and relaxed. Acknowledge to yourself how hard it is in your role as the helper and healer to your stressed our little one. When your child is exhibiting signs of high anxiety, you too may be at risk to burn out and have cargiver fatigue, you may even want to ramp up your own self care and find a mindfulness routine to help you find greater calm and clarity through the very real challenges of parenting an anxious child. Always, if your child is constantly anxious, tearful, sleepless, avoids peers, is very withdrawn, consulting a therapist or counselor who specializes in working with children is a good way to help them get the support that they may need.Learn More
No Sexual Chemistry in Your Relationship? Here are some ways that you can talk about it without them taking it personally.
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghJune 20, 2019 sexual chemistry, talking to your partner about sex0 comments
What can you do if you and your partner just don’t seem to have good sexual chemistry? Wondering it there are there ways to overcome it? How can you talk to them about it without them taking it personally? If you have ever wondered about the answers to these questions, we have you covered, read on!
Having a great sex life with a partner, assuming you both have already established an interest in each other takes awareness and intention if we are talking about a long term relationship. To enjoy ‘off the charts sexual chemistry’ really means that both you and your partner have compatible needs for sexual frequency, sexual style, that your anatomy is compatible and for many people having some degree of emotional connection also factors in to sexual chemistry. Having a great sex life doesn’t actually start in ‘the bedroom’, at least not when sex is coupled with a long-term relationship. Even if your relationship started with a lot of sexual energy, there is no promising that this will continue in years to come. ‘Habituation’, the tendency for our responses to any stimuli to become dulled or muted with greater frequency of exposure dictates that the same sexual positions and responses which were once wildly arousing will eventually become less arousing.
Good news, There are things that can be done to bring some of the arousal back! If on the other hand the relationship has always lacked sexual passion or chemistry, then think thoroughly by taking an internal assessment of whether the sexual component of the relationship is actually important to you. According to the Kinsey institute, we all have different sexual needs. There are many components to a healthy relationship, sexual intimacy is just one of them. If you are an extremely sexual person and can’t imagine life with less than 5 steamy sex sessions in a week, a relationship with poor sexual chemistry might not be a good fit for you. If you enjoy sex but are happy with ones a week or a few times per month, maybe it will be satisfying to maintain a long term relationship with less sexual chemistry as long as you have an intimate conversation with your partner about what is happening between the two of you. Without any sort of mutual understanding about the sexual relationship, it becomes likely that resentment will build over time and start to erode at the other parts the relationship which might otherwise be very nurturing and meaningful.
A great way to start a conversation about the sexual relationship is to; Ask your partner what they think of the sex you have been having! You could be surprised to learn that they too have been struggling with it, or perhaps they have a history or sexual aversion, sexual shame, or a sexual arousal disorder that prevents them from enjoying their full sexual potential. Ask them what turns them on the most and what you can do to make them sexually comfortable. You also might ask if they talked about sex in their family growing up or did they receive a lot of sexually shaming information about how taboo and bad it is to be sexually intimate. You will likely be able to tell if they suffer from sexual shame as the conversation about sex will be palpably difficult for them with stammering, blushing, and bouts of silence. After understanding more about their perceptions of sex and needs for sexual frequency and style of sexual intimacy, share a bit about your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. When we talk about our own needs, we always use constructive language that presents opportunities for understanding and if your partner takes that personally or becomes defensive, there might be something to further explore with a sex therapist or marriage counselor.
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghMay 25, 2018 building a therapy business, counseling referrals, therapy referrals0 comments
Getting Referrals for your Therapy Business
We know that for many therapists and counselors who are starting out opening a practice the day your open is such an exciting moment. So many new therapists have asked us, how do you get referrals, in our effort to help, we will share with you some time tested tips. You look forward to the day and after years of education and gaining a professional counseling license, you put you plan into action and with big dreams and great intentions, you hang your shingle. All of those years, you likely imagined that when you start doing business the clients would be flooding your waiting room. There are many parts to managing the business of therapy that are confusing for newcomers and completely prevent great therapists from gaining the momentum that is needed to sustain their dream. The biggest hurdle in opening their practice is usually gaining referral sources. We know that its really is hard in today’s market to get noticed and to then be able to build a therapy business. We know that no-matter how effective and competent a counselor, therapist, or psychologist, without being put in touch with a steady referral source, the clinician will end up frustrated and then become one of the many practices that opens and shortly after, dreams deflated, then forced to close ending up thousands of dollars in debt, without any business to show for their efforts. We want to help therapists to keep their dreams alive, and their doors open so that they are able to serve the children, adults, families, and couples who need them. Being in service to the populations that need us is what we are all aiming to do. Please read our 4 tips for gaining referrals for your counseling or therapy practice.
- Choose a Specialty
If your education hasn’t already provided you with a market specialty take a long look at exactly what kind of therapy that you want to provide and to who. Being broad and too general isn’t very well marketable, don’t blend in, your goal is to stand out. You will only go so far if you spend your time researching the things that every other therapist and practice in your area are doing. Even better if you can fill a niche that has not yet been offered in your area. For instance, marriage counseling specializing in infidelity, or therapy for depression, grief counseling, child therapy counseling for anxiety disorders are specialties which can help you to stand out in a crowded market.
- Take advantage of referral sources such as Psychology Today
This is a reputable and consistent place that most therapists use to gain their referrals. While some counselors feel that the services are too pricey they really are worth their weight in the number of referrals that they provide. Another helpful hint is to make sure you check only the kinds of therapy, ie specialties that you want to offer, don’t be afraid to have a narrow focus so that the appropriate clients find you. One referral that leads you to a client who you can really help is worth way more than several of those who you can only do sub-par work with.
- Provide therapy within your area of Expertise
One mistake that new therapists make is that in being desperate for clients they take any folks who come through their door without having proper regard for their specialty focus. They may end up making mistakes and even worse, ending up with a malpractice lawsuit. By providing counseling that is informed and specialty focus, you increase your client’s chances of having great outcomes.
- Use Pay-Per-Click Advertising
Pay per click advertising is the best way to rapidly generate internet leads. By working directly with Google, paying for an account that will generate abundant referral sources for your specific therapy specialty. This fantastic service can be set up in minutes and google also offers lots of support for how to get this going quickly without making any errors. It really is efficient and allows you to funnel in the appropriate kinds of clients to have your counseling business booming.
Good luck new therapy comers, we know that there are so many people who will benefit from the services that our fellow friends in the counseling field have to offer, keep working at it and your therapy dreams will come true.
Your Friends at The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh
830 Western Avenue
Pittsburgh Pa, 15233
2539 Monroeville Blvd
Monroeville PA 15146
We proudly serve integrative counseling and wellness solutions to the individuals, couples, and families of Pittsburgh, Monroeville, and all of Western Pennsylvania. We also proudly offer business consulting for our fellow therapists who are just starting out in the field, all services can be provided via skype for your convenience and service.Learn More