Limiting External Locus of Control for Personal Power

Do you ever feel like life is just happening to you, with external forces like luck, fate, or other people dictating the outcomes no matter how hard you try? When everything seems beyond your control, it’s easy to feel stuck and powerless. Psychologists explore these experiences through concepts like locus of control, which examines how we perceive the causes of events, and learned helplessness, which explains how repeated setbacks can condition us to stop trying.

Yet, as Choice Theory suggests, even in difficult circumstances, we have more agency than we might realize. By recognizing how an external locus of control develops, understanding how it reinforces powerlessness, and challenging its hold, we can start to reclaim a sense of personal power.

What Is Locus of Control?

Think of locus of control as a lens through which you view the world. It reflects your beliefs about whether you’re the driver or passenger on life’s road.

• Internal Locus of Control: You believe your choices, actions, and effort directly impact your outcomes.
• External Locus of Control: You feel that external forces—fate, luck, or other people—are primarily responsible for what happens to you.

This spectrum isn’t black and white. While it’s natural to acknowledge external influences, placing too much weight on them can leave you feeling powerless.

How the External Locus of Control Mindset Develops

An external locus of control often takes root as a response to challenging life experiences. It can emerge when we’ve repeatedly faced situations where our efforts didn’t seem to matter, such as:

• Early Life Experiences: Growing up in environments where decisions were made for you or where unpredictable circumstances dictated outcomes.
• Trauma or Chronic Stress: Experiencing repeated hardship can make it feel like nothing you do will change your reality.
• Social and Cultural Messages: Society often reinforces the idea that external factors—luck, fate, or others’ approval—are the primary drivers of success and happiness.

Over time, we might unconsciously adopt this way of thinking as a coping mechanism. It can feel easier to attribute outcomes to external forces rather than grapple with the uncertainty or disappointment that comes with personal accountability.

The Perceived Benefits of an External Locus of Control

At first glance, relying on an external locus of control can feel like a way to protect yourself from emotional strain or disappointment. This mindset often arises not out of laziness or denial but as a survival strategy—especially for those who’ve experienced significant challenges or a lack of agency in their lives.

For example:

• Avoiding Self-Blame: Acknowledging personal responsibility in difficult situations can feel overwhelming, especially when compounded by shame, guilt, or feelings of inadequacy. By attributing outcomes to external forces, it can seem easier to cope emotionally and avoid the sting of perceived failure.
• Reducing Anxiety: If everything feels out of your control, it may seem comforting to stop holding yourself accountable for fixing or managing life’s complexities. It removes the pressure to take risks or make decisions that could lead to failure.
• Protecting Hope: When faced with repeated setbacks, believing that external forces dictate outcomes can feel like holding on to the possibility that circumstances might change for the better—without needing to exhaust yourself trying to force that change.
• Making Sense of Chaos: In moments of crisis, attributing events to forces like fate, luck, or other people’s actions can feel like a way to create meaning and order in situations that otherwise feel random and unpredictable.
• Preserving Relationships: Placing blame on external circumstances rather than addressing interpersonal conflict can be a way to avoid confrontations or maintain harmony with others.

How an External Locus of Control Feeds Powerlessness

While these perceived benefits might feel like they’re shielding you from discomfort or pain, they often backfire in the long term. By focusing on what’s beyond your control, you unintentionally relinquish your sense of agency. This can lead to:

• Increased Helplessness: Repeatedly seeing yourself as powerless can reinforce the belief that nothing you do will ever make a difference.
• Stagnation: Avoiding responsibility or risk-taking can keep you stuck in the same patterns, unable to grow or achieve desired changes.
• Eroded Confidence: The less you challenge yourself, the harder it becomes to trust your own abilities when opportunities arise.
• Dependence on External Factors: Relying on others for validation or change can lead to frustration and resentment when those expectations go unmet. It also sets you up to feel unworthy when you don’t get the external validation that you seek.

This mindset often begins as a way to cope with difficult realities, but it ultimately limits personal growth and reinforces a cycle of learned helplessness—the belief that no matter what we do, nothing will change. This mindset can feel like protection against disappointment, but it ultimately limits our ability to grow, adapt, and reclaim power over our lives. The key to breaking free is not denying that external factors exist but learning to identify where your influence lies and embracing the choices you can control.

Real-Life Examples of Locus of Control

Understanding how an internal and external locus of control shape our interpretations can clarify the impact they have on our lives. Let’s explore some scenarios:

Teamwork and Collaboration

• Internal locus of control: “The project succeeded because I communicated clearly, supported my teammates, and contributed my best effort.”
• External locus of control: “The project succeeded because I got lucky with an easygoing team and external circumstances worked in our favor.”

Parenting or Caregiving

• Internal locus of control: “My child is thriving because I invest time in their education, encourage open communication, and model positive behaviors.”
• External locus of control: “My child is doing well because they happen to have good teachers and natural talents—not because of anything I do.”

Conflict Resolution

• Internal locus of control: “I resolved the disagreement by actively listening, apologizing where needed, and finding a solution that worked for everyone.”
• External locus of control: “The argument worked out only because the other person decided to let it go. I didn’t really have much to do with it.”

Creativity and Hobbies

• Internal locus of control: “My creativity has grown because I dedicate time to practicing and exploring new techniques regularly.”
• External locus of control: “I only come up with creative ideas when inspiration strikes or if someone else pushes me.”

Coping with Failure

• Internal locus of control: “This setback happened because I underestimated the challenge. Next time, I’ll approach it differently to succeed.”
• External locus of control: “It wasn’t my fault. The circumstances were completely against me, and there was no way to succeed.”

Fitness Goals

• Internal locus of control: “I’ve improved my fitness because I prioritize consistency in my workouts and make conscious decisions about my diet.”
• External locus of control: “I’m only fit because I have good genes and a naturally active lifestyle—not because of anything I control.”

Career Advancement

• Internal locus of control: “I earned this promotion because I dedicated myself to learning new skills, taking on challenging projects, and consistently delivering results.”
• External locus of control: “The promotion happened because of luck; it was really just a case of being in the right place at the right time.”

Academic Performance

• Internal locus of control: “I aced the exam because I developed a strong study routine and focused on understanding the material.”
• External locus of control: “I did well on the exam because it happened to cover topics I already knew, not because of how I prepared.”

Cultivate an Internal Locus of Control to Reclaim Your Power

Shifting to an internal locus of control doesn’t mean denying that external factors exist. Instead, it’s about recognizing where you do have influence and taking intentional steps to exercise that power. Embracing an internal locus of control allows you to focus on what’s within your reach, empowering you to take meaningful action. Here’s how you can start:

1. Take Ownership of Choices: Accept that your decisions have consequences—good or bad. Celebrate your successes and learn from setbacks, recognizing how an internal locus of control helps you take responsibility without blaming others or external circumstances.
2. Reframe Challenges: Instead of seeing obstacles as proof that life is against you, view them through the lens of an internal locus of control—as opportunities to grow and learn through your own efforts.
3. Set Realistic Goals: Focus on achievable goals and break them into smaller steps. With an internal locus of control, progress becomes a result of consistent effort, not external luck or overnight success.
4. Welcome Feedback: Asking for input can feel vulnerable, but with an internal locus of control, you can use feedback to refine your skills and deepen your self-awareness, knowing that growth stems from your own actions.
5. Build Self-Efficacy: Confidence comes from recognizing your capabilities. Strengthen your internal locus of control by reminding yourself of past achievements and how your efforts played a role in them.

Reclaiming your personal power is not about ignoring external influences; it’s about refusing to let them define you. By fully embracing an internal locus of control, you create a foundation of safety, confidence, and resilience, allowing love, connection, and success to thrive.

You have the power to shape your life—not by wishing for better circumstances but by choosing to take the wheel and steer your own path. Empower yourself, embrace the responsibility, and grow into the most resilient and fulfilled version of yourself.

Because the truth is, the strength to create change has always been within you. It’s time to claim it.

Need Support Shifting to an Internal Locus of Control?

If you need support in shifting your mindset toward an internal locus of control and reclaiming your sense of agency & personal power, our therapists can help. Fill out the form below or call us at 412-856-WELL.

Reviewed by: CEO and Founder Stephanie Wijkstrom, LPC