If you have recently answered ‘yes’ to a marriage proposal, then along with the rush of planning your version of the perfect wedding you also may also be considering whether you should be going to premarital counseling. Premarital counseling is a form of couples therapy that emphasizes wellness. Our counselors have put together a list of questions to ask before marriage to determine if it makes the wellness grade for relationship health, this will help you and your partner to understand some parts of your relationship in a deeper way.

Don’t be afraid to feel a little uncomfortable, these are questions for couples that you wouldn’t normally think about but that also is what makes them especially powerful— to assess the strengths and various qualities of your unique partnership. This does not replace premarital counseling but it does help you each to examine your relationship in a mindful and healthy way.

Questions to Ask Before Marriage

1. Why do you want to get married?
2. What roles do you see for yourself in your marriage?
3. What do you imagine might be your biggest challenge in being married?
4. What makes your relationship unique?
5. How do your friends and family view your relationship with your partner?
6. What is your idea of the perfect wedding?
7. Are there others who are close to you who have different ideas for how your wedding should go?
8. How do you each talk about your thoughts and needs?
9. How do you manage conflict?
10. What are each of your conflict resolutions styles?
11. What has been a challenge for your conflict resolution?
12. How you repair conflict?
13. When you feel stress how can you partner help you?
14. How would you describe your communication style?
15. Is it generally easy for you to talk about your needs?
16. Do you find you over communicate your needs?
17. Do you have an attacking communication style?
18. Do you become very emotional when you communicate?
19. How similar or different are each of your sexual libidos?
20. Describe the amount of foreplay that you have with your partner on average?
21. Do you feel able to initiate lovemaking?
22. Do you feel able to decline sex with your partner?
23. Are you able to orgasm?
24. Do you have sex that is non-penetrative?
25. What are some of your financial concerns about your future together?
26. What is your ritual around managing the finances?
27. How do you handle household maintenance like cooking and cleaning?
28. Do you plan to have children together?
29. What trait do you most admire in your partner?
30. What is one mutual goal between the two of you?
31. What do you see yourselves doing in 10 years?
32. What do you see yourselves doing in 20 years?

With the help of questions like these, you and your partner can begin the lifelong process of deepening your understanding of yourselves and each other, keeping in mind, your answers to these questions will likely change over time. That is normal and to keep your marriage healthy, you should continually check in with each other and have hard conversations about things that matter to you. Wellness means that we manage and care for ourselves and our relationships in a way that keeps them strong and happy and that we strategically plan for success by growing our relationship to be stronger. Great marriages are created intentionally by addressing individual and relationship needs, prioritizing connection, listening and compromising.  None of which are easy, but all of which are well worth it to live happily, in love, for the rest of your life.

Interested in Premarital Counseling?

If you’re interested in pre-marital counseling or couples therapy please contact us at 412-322-2129 or fill out the form below.