How Feeling Left Out Affects Mental Health

Feeling left out from friends and family can be one of the most challenging and isolating experiences in life, where feelings of loneliness, rejection, and despair become a constant companion. It’s a deeply alienating experience, leaving you questioning your worth and place in the world and longing for a sense of belonging.

When you are repeatedly excluded or rejected by those you love and trust, it can inflict deep emotional wounds that may mirror the symptoms of trauma. The sense of betrayal and abandonment can shatter your sense of safety and security, leading to pervasive feelings of fear, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Over time, these experiences can become deeply ingrained in the psyche, resulting in symptoms of cPTSD, such as emotional dysregulation, dissociation, and a distorted sense of self.

The emotional toll of feeling left out can also extend beyond psychological symptoms, impacting your physical health and overall well-being. Chronic stress and emotional distress can take a toll on the body, leading to a host of physical symptoms, including headaches, digestive issues, and sleep disturbances. Additionally, the pervasive sense of loneliness and isolation can contribute to feelings of hopelessness and despair, increasing the risk of depression and suicidal ideation.

In the absence of a supportive social network, feeling left out may cause you to struggle to find meaning and purpose in your life. The lack of validation and connection can erode your self-esteem and self-worth, leaving you feeling unworthy of love or a sense of belonging. This sense of existential despair can make it challenging to envision a future filled with hope and possibility, further exacerbating feelings of isolation and despair.

So, how can you cope when you’re feeling left out and alone?

1. Validate Your Feelings: It’s crucial to acknowledge the depth of your emotions. Feeling left out can bring up a range of feelings, from sadness and anger to frustration and despair. Recognizing and validating these emotions is the first step toward healing.
2. Seek Solace in Solitude: While being alone and feeling left out can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, it can also provide an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Use this time to reconnect with yourself, explore your interests, and cultivate a sense of self-compassion.
3. Find Belonging Within Yourself: Remember, your sense of belonging doesn’t solely rely on external validation but can also be cultivated from within. By focusing on internal sources of validation and belonging, you can build a strong sense of self-confidence and resilience that transcends external circumstances and empowers you to navigate life’s challenges with grace and authenticity.
4. Find Belonging With Something Greater Than Yourself: If you’re spiritual or open to it, finding a sense of belonging can extend beyond yourself to the universe. Recognize that you belong simply because you exist, interconnected with the cosmos and all living beings. Embrace practices like meditation, prayer, or connecting with nature to tap into this sense of belonging with something greater than yourself. Remember, your existence is a part of the intricate tapestry of the universe, and by acknowledging this connection, you can find a sense of belonging in the vastness of existence.
5. Expand Your Support Network: While it may feel like you’ve been abandoned by those closest to you, remember that support can come from unexpected places. Look for online communities, support groups, or social networks where you can connect with others who share similar experiences of feeling left out and longing for a sense of belonging.
6. Engage in Self-Care: Caring for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is crucial, particularly during challenging periods. Keep in mind that self-care encompasses a variety of activities, extending beyond the stereotypical bubble baths. Don’t be misled into thinking that only specific activities count. It could be as simple as expressing yourself creatively or enjoying some downtime with video games—the decision is yours. Additionally, self-care can involve basic essentials like staying hydrated, nourishing your body with food, and ensuring you get enough rest.
7. Consider Adopting an Animal Companion: A pet can provide unconditional love, companionship, and a sense of purpose. Caring for an animal can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and create a bond that fosters emotional support.
8. Consider Professional Help From a Therapist: Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, process your experiences, and develop coping strategies to navigate life’s challenges. A trained therapist can offer guidance, support, and perspective as you work through feelings of exclusion and loneliness. Exploring various therapeutic modalities like art therapy, somatic therapy, or group therapy may offer new insights and perspectives.
9. Practice Radical Acceptance: While it’s natural to wish for things to be different, practicing radical acceptance can help you find peace amidst the chaos. Accepting your current circumstances doesn’t mean giving up hope to find a sense of belonging but rather acknowledging reality as it is.
10. Consider Volunteering: Getting involved in volunteer work can help you connect with others while making a positive impact in your community. By contributing your time and skills, you not only support a cause you care about but also create opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and build meaningful connections. This sense of purpose can help alleviate feelings of isolation and foster a greater sense of belonging.
11. Focus on Personal Growth: Use this time of solitude to focus on your personal growth and development. Set goals for yourself, whether they’re related to your career, hobbies, or relationships, and take steps toward achieving them.
12. Stay Connected to Your Values: When faced with adversity, it’s essential to stay connected to your core values and beliefs. Find meaning and purpose in your experiences, and let them guide you toward a brighter future.

Healing from the profound effects of always feeling left out requires patience, self-compassion, and a courageous willingness to confront the deep-seated pain of the past. It’s crucial to acknowledge the potential trauma and complex emotional scars that result from feeling left out and being excluded by friends and family. 

By actively seeking therapy and support, you can begin to address these wounds and develop healthy coping mechanisms to navigate your experiences. Building a community of understanding and compassionate individuals can also provide crucial support and a sense of belonging on your journey to healing. 

Through this process of self-reflection, healing, and growth, you can gradually reclaim your sense of self-worth and agency, paving the way for a more authentic and empowered life. While the road to recovery may be challenging, with time and a steadfast commitment to self-care, it’s possible to emerge from feeling left out with newfound strength, resilience, and a sense of belonging.

Interested in Professional Support to Cope With Feeling Left Out?

If you need additional support due to feeling left out, we can help. Contact us at 412-856-WELL or fill out the form below to get started on your journey to healing and reconnection. Our team is here to guide you every step of the way.

Reviewed by: Stephanie Wijkstrom, LPC