Are you a good listener? Do you want to develop your active listening skills further?In honor of World Listening Day on July 18th, let’s explore the significance of active listening skills as an art and a valuable skill. Active listening goes beyond merely hearing words; it involves fully engaging with the speaker, understanding their perspective, and providing meaningful responses. It plays a crucial role in effective communication, promoting empathy, and fostering stronger relationships.

Using the principles of empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard, active listening takes typical listening to a deeper level of engagement.  During conversations, the active listener interacts with the speaker in such a way as to encourage the speaker to continue speaking.

Active listening has three main elements:

• Cognitive: The listener pays attention to and processes the information received from the speaker
• Emotional: The listener stays calm and composed during the conversation and manages any emotions that might arise
• Behavioral: The listener conveys interest in the conversation and in the speaker both verbally and nonverbally

Asking open-ended questions with a neutral and nonjudgmental demeanor is one of the best ways that active listeners can show interest in the speaker and the conversation. Open-ended questions are designed to elicit more information and include who, what, when, where, and how questions. This technique is effective because responses to open-ended questions contain more information than questions that are answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. Examples of open-ended questions include “What happened next?”, “How do you feel about this?”, and “Where do you think this will end up?”

Other ways that active listeners can show interest in the speaker and the conversation include verbal and nonverbal utterances and gestures, such as nodding, maintaining an engaged facial expression, making appropriate facial expressions, having open body language, and saying things like “I see.” and “Really?”

Developing Active Listening Skills: Common Stumbling Blocks and How to Avoid Them

1. Trying to multitask – regain control of your attention by deliberately and intentionally refocusing on the speaker, including focusing on the speaker’s mouth as if reading their lips (if need be, confess the lapse in attention to the speaker, apologize, and ask them politely to repeat what they said)  
2. Tuning out what the speaker is saying and preparing to argue or end the conversation instead of listening if you become emotionally triggered – regain emotional control by taking a few slow, deep breaths from your diaphragm and doing grounding exercises like making eye contact or shifting your position (strive for an open and curious attitude toward the speaker and the topic).
3. Interrupting, offering unsolicited advice, or asking “why?” – regain control by remembering how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of such aggressive and dismissive tactics (the conversation isn’t only about you – avoid making the speaker feel uncomfortable or put on the defensive)

In conclusion, developing active listening skills is crucial for enhancing communication and building stronger connections with others. By engaging in active listening, which involves cognitive, emotional, and behavioral elements, we can truly understand the speaker’s perspective and convey genuine interest. Open-ended questions, nonverbal cues, and a mindful approach help demonstrate our attentiveness and create a supportive listening environment. To be effective active listeners, we must overcome common stumbling blocks such as multitasking, emotional triggers, and aggressive behaviors, by regaining control of our attention, managing emotions, and practicing empathy. By continuously honing our active listening skills, we can foster deeper connections, promote understanding, and foster more meaningful conversations.

For more information about World Listening Day, visit https://worldlisteningday.org

This blog was written by Renae Sever, PhD, NBC-HWC. Renae is accepting new patients at our Greensburg location as well as online.