The Top 7 Reasons to Seek Marriage Counseling

Many predict that divorce will be at an all-time high during the time of COVID-19 quarantine.

One relationship therapist emailed a survey to over 700 clients and found that thirty-one percent of respondents claimed the quarantine had hurt their relationship. With record amounts of time spent together in close quarters, it may feel like there’s no escape for a married couple, especially with none of the usual “me time” activities like gyms, spas, and dinners with friends.

For that reason, marriage counseling is more important than ever. Having a dedicated safe space to process issues, especially during a stressful situation like an ongoing pandemic, can help strengthen the bonds of a couple immensely. Below are just a few of the many reasons couples may want to seek marriage counseling.

1. Support Navigating Shared Relationships

A married couple has many important relationships outside of their marriage itself. The dynamics of these relationships can also affect a marriage. Couples may need outside advice on how to properly set boundaries and interact with children, parents, in-laws, friends, and members of blended families. A third-party who is impartial can be especially helpful in these scenarios because problems often arise when both members of a couple have a different relationship with one of these outside people.

2. Help with Sexual Issues

Many times, underlying relationship issues play out in the bedroom. Sexual issues can come up again and again, shaping a large part of a couple’s intimacy issues. Luckily, studies show that improvement is largely possible, especially when a sex therapist gives both partners coping strategies to employ when they encounter sexual difficulties. A study that followed 140 couples over the course of one to six years of sex therapy found that the long-term outcome for those seeking sex therapy was excellent, and the results carried over into the couples’ attitudes about their relationship in general.

3. Gaining an Impartial Ear

When weathering marital troubles, many people seek advice from friends and family who bring their own biases to the table. For example, someone’s mother is likely to want to see them as innocent and their partner as the villain. Marriage counselors don’t have previous associations with either party. They are more likely to hear both partners’ concerns fairly.

4. Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

Studies show that between 20 and 40 percent of married people end up seeking an extramarital affair. These statistics are especially troubling when 42 percent of divorces cite infidelity as one of the causes. That said, when the right steps are taken, infidelity does not have to end in divorce, and a couple can ultimately rebuild broken trust and become even stronger.

According to Psychology Today, part of the process involves an opportunity for both parties to discuss the whole truth. It’s natural for the person who has been cheated on to have many questions they feel need to be answered to regain trust. To reach a place of forgiveness, the transgressor needs to be emotionally honest and take responsibility for what they have done. Without taking this step forward, forgiveness may not be found and an intimate connection may not be restored. A relationship expert can help couples navigate this tricky process together.

5. Avoiding the “Four Horsemen” of Conflict

Relationship expert John Gottman has defined the four horsemen of the “apocalypse” of a relationship: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. None of these are productive ways to respond to a partner, and employing these tactics will only heighten tensions and drive a couple further apart. A marriage counselor can help a couple identify when they are responding to each other in these unproductive ways and help suggest healthy alternatives that promote a healthier conversation.

6. Creating a Safe Space

Rather than bringing negative energy into the home, it can be helpful to have a neutral territory to discuss conflicts. Furthermore, a therapist’s office provides a space for a couple to discuss their issues away from those who may overhear them, such as children or other family members. A couples therapy session is a place where each party can feel safe being honest without fear of judgment.

7. Fostering an Attachment Bond

While attachment science is often discussed regarding child development, it is equally important for adults. Emotionally Focused Therapy is an emerging field that focuses on a couple’s attachment to one another. A secure attachment bond has shown to provide resilience to the couple and improved self-esteem to each individual. Therapy provides a time and place for a married couple to get to know each other better and become more secure in their bond.

When things may look grim for a person’s marriage, there is always help. Like all things, when a couple is willing to put in the time and effort, they can look forward to the reward of a healthier, happier relationship. Marriage counseling can help married couples find common ground and feel bonded once again.

How Do You Know if Your Marriage Needs Counseling?

You may know your marriage needs counseling when the same problems keep coming up or you feel more distant than you used to. Many couples reach this point, and noticing it is a healthy first step. Counseling is not only for crisis, it can help at any stage.

Common signs include frequent arguments, trouble communicating, or simply feeling stuck. Some couples come to grow closer, not because anything is wrong. There is no single right reason to go.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, couples often seek therapy for communication concerns and a wish to feel more connected. We see reaching out as a caring choice for your relationship.

If you are wondering whether it is time, couples counseling can help you explore that together. Asking the question is already a step forward.

How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling works by giving both partners a safe, guided space to talk things through with a trained therapist. The therapist helps you understand each other and build healthier patterns. It is a team effort focused on your relationship.

In sessions, you might explore communication, recurring conflicts, and what each of you needs. The therapist stays neutral and helps both voices be heard. Many couples leave with practical tools they can use at home.

According to the American Psychological Association, couples therapy helps partners improve communication and work through conflict with the support of a trained professional. We see it as a steady, hopeful process.

A research-based approach like the Gottman method gives couples clear tools to grow. The work happens together, step by step.

What Should You Expect in Your First Couples Therapy Session?

In your first couples therapy session, you can expect to share a little about yourselves and what brought you in. The therapist will likely ask about your relationship history and your hopes for counseling. It is mostly about getting to know you.

There is no pressure to solve everything right away. The first session helps the therapist understand your story and helps you feel comfortable. Many couples feel relieved once they begin.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, early sessions often focus on understanding a couple’s history, strengths, and goals. We see the first visit as a gentle starting point.

A supportive space like our counseling services can guide those early conversations. The first step is often the hardest, and you have already considered it.

Is It Normal to Cry During a Therapy Session?

Yes, it is completely normal to cry during a therapy session. Therapy often touches on deep feelings, and tears are a natural and healthy release. There is no need to feel embarrassed.

Crying can be a sign that something meaningful is being worked through. A good therapist creates a safe space where all emotions are welcome. Letting feelings out is part of the healing process.

According to the American Psychological Association, expressing emotions in therapy is a natural and healthy part of the process. We see your feelings as something to honor, not hide.

If opening up feels hard at first, somatic therapy can offer a gentle, judgment-free space. Your emotions are always welcome here.

What Is the Most Common Issue Couples Bring to Counseling?

The most common issue couples bring to counseling is difficulty communicating with each other. Many couples find that small misunderstandings grow over time. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be learned.

Other frequent reasons include feeling disconnected, navigating big life changes, or rebuilding trust. Each couple’s story is unique, and no concern is too small to bring in. Naming the issue together is part of the work.

According to the Gottman Institute, communication and conflict are among the most common challenges couples bring to therapy. We see every concern as a valid reason to reach out.

When communication feels stuck, family therapy can help you rebuild connection. Support is here whenever you are ready.