Pet Loss: Validating Grief Often Overlooked by Society

The loss of a pet can be one of the most heart-wrenching experiences many of us face. Pets are more than just animals; they are family members, companions, and sources of unconditional love. The bond we share with them often transcends words, making their loss profoundly felt.

In the UK, the charity organization Blue Cross—which has been providing support for over 30 years to help people cope with pet loss, enforced separation, or theft—has seen a dramatic rise in people reaching out for help with the death of a pet, nearly tripling from 6,240 in 2013 to 17,367 in 2022. This surge highlights just how deep the connection between people and their pets runs, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and understanding the grief that accompanies pet loss. Finding ways to cope can help navigate this difficult journey, honoring the special bond that continues even after the death of a pet.

The Depth of Grief When Faced With the Death of a Pet

Grief is a deeply personal experience that varies from person to person. When a beloved pet passes away, the grief can be overwhelming, often comparable to the loss of a human loved one. In fact, for some people, the death of a pet can be even harder, as we share our everyday lives with our pets while we may not see family members, like grandparents, as frequently. For many, pets serve as crucial emotional support, providing comfort and companionship during difficult times. The loss of such a support system can leave a significant void, intensifying the grief felt.

It’s not uncommon to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief, especially if the pet was suffering. These feelings are entirely normal and a testament to the love that was shared.

However, the grief associated with pet loss is often categorized as disenfranchised grief, which refers to mourning that is not openly acknowledged or validated by society. This can leave individuals feeling isolated, as their pain may be minimized by others who don’t fully understand the significance of the bond shared with their pet.

Pet Loss is a Form of Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief can stem from various factors:

• Social Stigma: Society often regards pets as “just animals,” leading to the perception that grief over their loss is less important than mourning a human. This stigma can cause those grieving the death of a pet to feel as though their emotions are invalid or exaggerated.
• Lack of Rituals: Unlike human loss, which often comes with established mourning practices and social support, pet loss may not be accompanied by similar rituals. This absence can make it challenging for individuals to express their grief openly.
• Isolation: Individuals grieving the death of a pet may find it hard to share their feelings with friends or family, fearing judgment or lack of understanding. This can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, making the grieving process even more challenging.

Recognizing pet loss as a form of disenfranchised grief is an essential step in understanding and processing your emotions. It’s important to affirm that your grief is valid, regardless of societal perceptions. Allowing yourself to fully experience this grief is a crucial aspect of healing.

Finding Support For Pet Loss

During this challenging time, seeking support from friends, family, or pet loss support groups can be incredibly beneficial. Sharing your feelings with those who understand can create a safe space to grieve. Many communities have support groups specifically for pet loss, offering resources and the chance to connect with others who are experiencing similar feelings.

Online forums and social media groups can also provide comfort, allowing you to share your story and hear others’ experiences. Sometimes, knowing you’re not alone in your grief can be immensely reassuring.

Memorializing Your Pet

Creating a memorial for your pet can be a meaningful and healing way to honor their memory. This could be as simple as planting a tree or flowers, creating a scrapbook of your favorite moments, or holding a small ceremony with loved ones. Unique keepsakes like a personalized cremation ashes necklace, a tattoo of their paw print, a hand-painted pet portrait, or even a quilt made from your pet’s favorite items can help keep their memory close. These personal tributes provide comfort and celebrate the joy your pet brought into your life.

Allowing the Pain

It’s essential to allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss fully. Trying to suppress or minimize these emotions can prolong the grieving process. Give yourself permission to cry, reminisce, or even laugh at the fond memories you shared. Engaging in activities that honor your pet can help channel your grief into something meaningful, making it a part of your healing journey.

Seeking Professional Help for the Death of a Pet

If you find your grief due to the death of a pet overwhelming and feel unable to cope, consider seeking grief counseling. Therapists and counselors can provide guidance tailored to your needs and help you navigate your feelings in a supportive environment. Pet loss can stir up deep emotions, and professional support can offer valuable tools to help you through the grieving process.

The journey of healing after pet loss is often long and filled with ups and downs. As time goes on, the pain of your loss may lessen, but the love you shared with your pet will always remain a cherished part of your life. Allow yourself the grace to grieve, remember, and ultimately celebrate the beautiful bond you had with your pet.

In the end, the love you shared with your furry friend is what truly matters. Embrace the memories, honor the grief, and know that healing is possible. Your journey may be unique, but it’s a testament to the profound connection you had with your beloved companion.

If You Need Support Grieving The Loss of A Pet, We Can Help

If you’re struggling with the loss a beloved pet, you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to us at 412-856-WELL or complete the form below to connect with support.

Reviewed by Founder and CEO of the Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh Stephanie Wijkstrom, LPC.