by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghJanuary 2, 2020 best ways to build self care plan, mental health matters0 comments
We hear lots of people taking about self care these days but what actually is it? Is there a right way to do it? I hope to answer some of these questions for you today because mental health matters and you matter. Self care can be defined as any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Practicing self-care isn’t always easy. Most of us are crazy busy, we have stressful jobs, are taking care of children or aging family members or are too consumed with technology to make time for ourselves. “Me time” is usually last on our agenda and we can often feel guilty about taking the time required to take care of ourselves. Self care is not selfish. We can’t take care of others well if we don’t take the time to care for ourselves and good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced stress and anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with ourselves and others. So, where do you start? It’s important to build a self care plan. Begin by sticking to the basics for now and overtime you’ll find a routine that works for you. Overtime, you can implement more and more specific items into your plan. In the meantime here are some basic principles of self care to help get you started:
- Eat right- the right foods can help improve memory, combat inflammation and promote good gut health. All of which can have a direct impact on your physical and emotional health. If you have questions or want to learn more about this consider setting up a consultation with a nutritionist.
- Sleep- make sure you’re getting 7-8 hours of sleep a night, establishing a healthy bedtime routine can promote deeper and more restful sleep. Avoid sugar and caffeine before bed and help reduce distractions such as light and electronics in your bedroom
- Physical exercise- this can mean lots of different things for different people. This can be a walk with your family in the evening or by yourself at lunch, swimming, or yoga. The type of activity isn’t as important as choosing something you enjoy and can commit to your schedule
- Schedule time away- this can be as simple a taking a half day to spend at the park or an extravagant weekend getaway
- Take care of your spiritual needs- this can be attending religious services, meditation, prayer, spending time in nature or making a gratitude list
- Learning to say “no” and setting boundaries- this can mean you don’t check email after business hours, don’t attend events or gatherings that you don’t want to or don’t take on additional tasks that you don’t have the time or energy for
- Get organized- get a planner for tasks or appointments, this can be especially helpful in scheduling your self care time or spend time prepping lunches so you have more time in the morning for an extra cup of tea and some meditation
- Spend time with loved ones and people that are important to you
- Lastly if you work in a field with high burnout rates seek consultation and supervision from mentors and peers to help reduce stress
Self care will look different for everyone for some it’s getting up 15 minutes earlier to practice deep breathing or journaling before the day begins. For others it’s an evening run, but just like many other things self care takes practice. I challenge you to commit to adding one self care element to your schedule for 2 weeks and see the difference it makes in your life and relationships.
Written By: Nicole Monteleone, MA, LPC, NCC
If you are looking for a counseling center near you, reach out to our reception team monday through friday from 9-5 and we will be glad to get you an appointment with one of our licensed counselors in 4 convenient locations, Counseling Pittsburgh, Counseling Wexford, Counseling Monroeville, Counseling South Hills.Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghJuly 1, 2019 Uncategorized, ways to incorporate mindfulness into daily life0 comments
Mindfulness and Meditation for Everyday Life The most beautiful thing about mindfulness is that we can practice it anywhere and anytime not just while we are in the middle of our downward facing dog or seated lotus position. Here are 6 ways to practice mindfulness that you probably never thought of! Let’s face it, being seated is not the ideal way to cultivate clarity of consciousness for all people, this is what makes mindfulness more accessible that meditation, it can be practiced while you’re moving, working, walking, and relating.
Mindful Gardening– To some it is pulling a weed and to others it is an act of meditation. Think about the great Japanese bonsai masters! The science backs us up here as we note that pulling weeds and being close to the earth have very potent health enhancing benefits. Feel the sensation of the plant in your fingers, contemplate its origin, and allow yourself to feel the texture of it between your fingers, breath deeply and notice the plants scent as the air passes through your nostrils.
Mindfulness in Motion– A mindful hike or walk, wondering how a normal hike or walk differs from a mindful one? Mindfulness is anytime we tune into our experience and allow all of our senses to become activated, notice the way your feet feel as they are making contact with the earth, be conscious of your breathing and the way that the air feels on your skin, listen to the sounds of the outdoors around you. Mindfulness is when we are perceiving deeply.
Mindful cooking – To some cooking is a burden to bare, as we activate our potential to be mindful, we can become enlightened through our cooking too. Use you hands when you cook! Tactile experiences easily lend themselves to being potentially mindful. When we bake cookies and knead the dough, we can hone in on the temperature of the dough, the way it feels on our skin and squishes between our fingers! Breath in the scents around you and notice how the foods you are cooking change in scent from raw to cooked. When you are mindful, you are aware and present to everything your senses perceive.
Mindful Eating– Luckily the mindful opportunity doesn’t need to end when the food is done cooking! There are many mindful eating exercises, that start by touching the food and considering its source. For instance an orange, where did it come from, how did it get to you. Then touching it with awareness and noticing its exteriors texture. Slowly, opening and peeling the different layers, when on the inside you can smell its juicy sweetness and then move to tasting. Try to take each bite and chew it for 10 bites, notice the way that the texture and flavor changes with each bite.
Mindful Shower- Showering is a great time to be mindful because it is usually uninterrupted time, away from the kids, the boss, or your partner. Some people enjoy keeping aromatherapy diffusers in their showers and making a meditative haven with deep breathes as each shower drop warms our skin. By being aware of our bodies, the soup that we use to clean ourselves, and taking many full slow inhalations we make the most of this time.
Mindful Loving Mindfulness doesn’t need to be what we do when we are alone, mindfulness can be used to enhance our relationships. There is something that we call beginners mind, when we first get to know a partner we ask many interested questions about who they are and what they like. Yet with time, we assume to have those answers. Unfortunately, with our assumptions we fail to take advantage of coming to know the great changes that happen for all of us through time. When we use beginners mind and interact with our partner as though they are a new person who we do not know all of the answers to, we are naturally more curious and tuned in.Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghApril 20, 2019 essential oils for wellness, health benefits of essential oils, lemon essential oil uses0 comments
Each month in our quest for the best wellness tips that can be offered, we are sharing an oil and it’s health benefits as well as common uses. Lemon oil should not be rubbed in the eyes or delicate parts of the skin as it will burn and if placing it anywhere other than the soles of the feet or fingers/palms it should be diluted.
Essential oils contain active compounds which interact immediately with the body by entering into the blood stream and activating various parts of the brain. This month, for spring, we are featuring lemon oil. Like the season of spring time, it is known to be revitalizing and has uplifting benefits on mood. It can also help to aid focused attention and accelerate energy and motivation when used for deep breathing meditation! This oil also has a whole team of added benefits.
An added bonus to lemon essential oil is that it is very helpful during a cold or with allergies, with just a small drop on the finger and then placed just on the rim of the inside of your nostril, nasal congestion is instantaneously diminished. It’s pretty miraculous and works faster than any decongestant that we know of. Overall, it fights bacteria and for a very delicious way to sooth a sore throat, you can add some to your tea with honey for a time-tested healing drink. Other sources site that by placing a few drops of medical grade lemon oil in water, the immune system is boosted and it has even further benefits during cold and flu season.
When diluted as a cleaning solution, it is very cleansing for kitchen surfaces and makes a great substitute for those other artificial lemon scents. It also can take tarnish from silver and nourishes cracked leather goods. It also removes scuffs from hardwood floors.
For your beauty regimen, sources indicate that lemon oil can be added to your nighttime beauty cremes, placing just a few drops in your favorite crème will brighten your skin. It is also recommended that it can be added to oatmeal for a fresh and natural skin exfoliant. If your nails have a problem with fungus, try lemon essential oil to rid yourself of the pesky fungi. It also can be diluted and used on rough patches of skin on the foot to smooth out dry spots.
When diffusing lemon oil, it is best to add it to other scents like grapefruit, pine, and even peppermint which will further enhance you with a serious jolt of feel good energy!
The physical health, wellness, and household benefits aren’t the end of the goodness that lemon oil has to offer your foods. We can also consume cooking grade oils by adding them to sauces, pancakes, whipped crème, fish and just about any dish that you want to have a very bright flavor.
It is an all natural way to remove tree sap from the hands! Just try it and see!
A word of caution and this can be applied to your use of all essential oils, they must be high quality and always read the label of your favorite brand before consuming it as some are not meant to be eaten. Finally, be sure to dilute them before putting them on the face or body but generally a drop or two on your hands can be a pleasant way to inhale them deeply on the run. Lemon oil should not be rubbed in the eyes or delicate parts of the skin as it will burn.
For A Counseling or Wellness Consultation, Please call our office to schedule with one of our licensed therapists or wellness providers!Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghMarch 1, 2019 how to meditate, kinds of meditation0 comments
We all have the innate capacity for greater clarity, calm, and focus. Consciousness is in fact a skill that can be sharpened when each day we wipe clean the debris that clouds our minds and trickles even into our physical bodies. Mindfulness meditation is a kind of focused awareness where we become distinctly aware of our selves, the nature of our thoughts, the quality of the sensations coursing within our veins. Yet mindfulness is not merely helpless attention that is splashed around our roving internal focus. It also incorporates the potential to alter the state and being of our consciousness, via our breath and attention. While meditation has so much potential that it can be prescribed as a tool to manage anger, depression, and anxiety, it is extremely trans-formative when used as a spiritual or mindful tool for wellness.
While there are many various forms of meditation, let’s explore some of the most common, starting with Zen Buddhism meditation. In the Zen tradition, the practitioner is seated cross legged or in lotus position, one of the more important components of which is that your spine be completely erect. Your focus then is simply on the sound and motion of your breath coming in and out of your nose. The sound and sensation of each breath is a meditative focal point, very simple but powerful. The drawback is that for beginners it may be very hard to just sit and breathe!
Another common Buddhist style of meditation is Vipassana. It is a style of insight-based awareness when attention itself is used as a tool. To concentrate all of one’s focus on a specific point can be an enlightening and extremely calming experience. For instance, you could place all of your attention on a body part, a thought, or a visualization. The goal is truly to become liberated from the shackles of our own awareness which tends to lack focus and be chaotic in its natural state. This style of meditation takes years of cultivation to improve upon but can be seen as a daily or regular practice. Like polishing a jewel, we clarify our thoughts and mind, as we will notice many different thoughts coming through our consciousness as we are seated. We do not attach to any one of them however, we allow them to slide by and label them as mechanisms of the ego, or desire, or self defeat. We become very aware and curious about our thoughts in this style of meditation.
This is perhaps the most accessible style of meditation for the beginner. It may start with breathing in a seated or lying down position with closed eyes. From there an instructor cues in various visual scenes, sometimes like a story. The practitioner is able to visualize various motions and enactments that can journey them into their unconscious. This is a favored method for beginners because it allows a place for the meditator’s focus to rest and is highly interactive and imaginative. After completing the meditation, if done in a group setting, the practitioners may talk about some of the things that they felt and visualized in the sequence.
This form of meditation is best performed after gaining a basic understanding of each of the chakras by becoming aware of their placement and function through the body. The practitioner then visualizes sending breath and sometimes light to those seven energy centers through the physical and subtle body. The subtle body is the non-visible and esoteric energy centers including the chakras and meridians. This form of meditation can be very effective and energizing to unblock the chakras and re-balance them. Chakra meditation is related to bringing balance to the flow of Kundalini energy which flows from the crown of our skull to the base of our root. This is an ancient yoga style that tends to be more spiritually focused.Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghApril 19, 2018 counseling, meditation, mindfulness, therapy, wellness0 comments
Want to Become a Meditation Master? This is the Most Common Mistake that New Meditators Make and How to Fix It!
So maybe you have read the abundant data that meditation is one of the most fantastic tools that there is to enhancing mental clarity, reducing individual response to stress, and enjoyment of the great benefit of greater calm. According to the National Institute of Complimentary Health and Medicine which is a branch of the National Institute of Health (NIH), symptoms and consequences associated with anxiety, anger, depression, and stress disorders are all distinguished and well managed with a self-care plan which incorporates meditation. In knowing all of these benefits, with abundant enthusiasm, you have decided to get started on utilizing this most fantastic tool to wellness.
The fact is many people struggle in their meditation and may even feel so defeated that they quit altogether, and this is due to one common misconception about meditation and how to do it. When starting out with a meditation practice, we summon our inner oracle and alight with the goal of embodying our inner Buddha. Fantasies turn to reality and we stuff and mold our shape into some oddly contorted seated position and with our full lotus blooming, we close our eyes and turn our wellness aspirations inward toward the journey of the self. We imagine that the goal in mind with all of this blood, sweat and ‘OM’ is to turn off our mind.
Here we have it, this is the number one mistake that we make that prevents us from developing a meditation practice, you see “We are not able to turn off our thoughts.” I promise that for any meditator who has climbed the precipice to ascend mindless nirvana, you have faceplanted while careening down the jagged cliff face and end up irritated and hopeless with yourself and the whole concept of mediation. The fact is, it is the nature of our thoughts to keep producing other considerations, a typical inner monologue during meditation might be thinking;
“how uncomfortable the cross legged position, belly is hungry, need breakfast, am I done yet, hope my hair isn’t close to getting singed by that candle, why was my boss so upset yesterday?”
All of this thinking is just fine, in meditation, we anticipate that the endless churning of our thinking will ramble on as it always does. In a mindfulness meditation, we breathe deeply and acknowledge the existence of all of the thoughts that our mind produces and then we take a step back and we become conscious of the kind and quality of the thoughts that we are having. We practice an ever present non-judgmental position with ourselves. For example, for the above thoughts, I would label the overall thinking state as anxious and fearful. I was desiring breakfast, fearing my hair could get burned, wanting to complete the meditation. Those are all anxious and desirous thoughts. As we become more skilled at meditation, we add in a thought or question to assess how we are thinking and we keeping breathing deeply through it. For example, as we are having our inner monologue during the above meditation, we would have the same thoughts and every so many moments we pause to think about how we are thinking.
“how uncomfortable the cross-legged position, belly is hungry, need breakfast, am I done yet? Oh yes, I am thinking of the future, I always am thinking about what is next. I hope my hair isn’t close to getting singed by that candle? I am fearful sometimes. Why was my boss so upset yesterday? I am often very concerned with what others are feeling.”
When we are mindful, and aware of our thoughts and consciousness, we become able to know that we are sentient beings, with vivid imaginings, with endlessly burning thoughts. Yet we are not these thoughts, we are some where afar and above all of the background and inward noise of being, we are the observer, conscious of our selves and the world around us, free and responsible to choose our actions and to develop ourselves, to become a more aware, and well version of our most mindful and well self.
The Therapists of-Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh
830 Western Avenue Pittsburgh Pa 15233
2539 Monroeville Blvd Monroeville Pa 15146
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghApril 14, 2018 counseling for depression, counseling for PTSD, meditation, mindfulness, nature therapy, Nutrition Counseling, outdoor yoga, stress managment, wellness counseling pittsburgh, wellness pittsburgh, yoga0 comments
Yoga. To many, the word conjures up images of Instagram perfection and beautiful backgrounds. Thousands of years ago, the poses (asanas) were only part of the defining point of a yoga practice. Yoga by ancient definition means “union.” A union of spiritual, emotional and physical practices of wellness. The poses are an integral part, but not comprehensive whole of the practice. Patanjali, one of the forefathers of yoga defined yoga as, the neutralization of the vortices of feeling.” An intense definition, but the meaning of yoga must encompass all that it is, in a few words.
In this modern day of technology and constant stimulation, it is essential to unplug from your phone and laptop and connect with yourself. The benefits of yoga intertwine the spiritual, emotional and physical goals of the practice. Yoga has even been shown to decrease symptoms of anxiety, depression, and post traumatic stress disorder. The physical benefits are easier to notice, but the spiritual and emotional impacts cannot be underestimated. The first step to a yoga practice is openness for change and self-improvement. The rest of the benefits will follow:
The beautiful Instagram pictures exemplify the increased flexibility regular yoga practice results in. However, there are many other physical benefits that are not as easily photographed. Yoga practice increases the functioning of the immune system, the digestive system, circulatory system and bone health. By toning and strengthening the muscles and ligaments, yoga can help prevent injury and increase an individual’s metabolism.
Pranayama (breathe control) increases the functioning of the respiratory system. Certain sequences can help with insomnia, but overall yoga helps to increase energy levels in an individual. The physical benefits are often noticeable with a consistent practice. Health benefits of yoga can be even further multiplied by practicing outdoors as nature has its own beneficial effects.
When my 3-year-old niece gets upset, my sister has taught her to belly-breathe. This has a calming effect on her and can prevent a temper tantrum. Practicing yoga is calming and can reduce stress, depression and anxiety. Participating in physical activity releases endorphins in the body, which makes people feel happy. Yoga increases concentration and ability to focus on a task at hand.
One of the most important aspects of yoga is being present and mindful in your body. Not comparing your current state to anyone else and manifesting a non-judgmental relationship with yourself.
Yoga encompasses all religions, spiritually the practice seeks to remind its followers that they are part of a bigger picture. We are connected to other beings and the environment. Contrary to some beliefs, the practice of yoga does not aim to convert anyone to a religion. Yoga is not a religion. The practice aims to seek a higher consciousness or meaning behind everything we think and do.
Everyone comes to the mat for a myriad of reasons, relieving stress, moving on your mat after a hard day at the office, or to try a new pose seen in passing….The pull towards stepping on the your yoga mat may even vary day to day. However, whether the practice is home-based or in a studio, it will help improve your moods, increase energy levels and bring a new level of self-awareness, among other power benefits. The versatility of a yoga practice can alter depending on your schedule or how you feel. It can vary from a 5 minute mindful child’s pose to a vigorous 90 minute vinyasa flow. Any practice can make a positive impact in your life and begin a ripple effect towards those around you. Yoga can be incorporated into a wellness plan including nutrition counseling, meditation, and mindfulness.
By Lauren Shaffer, Certified Yoga Instructor and Wellness Guru of PittsburghLearn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghApril 5, 2018 anxiety, anxiety therapy pittsburgh, counseling, counseling for anxiety, counseling pittsburgh, licensed therapist monroeville, licensed therapist pittsburgh, meditation, nature therapy, stress managment0 comments
Green & Serene; Nature Therapy Reduces Stress
Mindfulness, mantras, fitness and new age therapy are all devoted to finding ways to enhance wellbeing, joy, and alternately to decrease stress levels. Combating the effects of stress are increasingly important for all of us as we manage demanding lives. One of the best ways natural ways to enhance feelings of wellbeing is by practicing fitness or some form of exercise therapy. In many studies, cardio vascular exercise is explored and compared with placebos and even pharmacology and it is verified to significantly impact and reduce the symptoms associate with anxiety and depression. Yet, there seems to be new evidence that we can even further enhance the benefits of exercise.
Increasingly, we learn that the great outdoors may have many secrets to enhancing our wellness potential. In fact in a 2013 study published by the National Institute of Health, cortisol levels were measured in people who had taken a long walk indoors and others who had done the same walk outdoors in a green serene setting. Those who had gotten their cardio amidst the trees had significantly less cortisol in their saliva than those who were indoors. Peaceful outdoorsy people have long felt the call of the wild and reported the great benefit of getting their fitness fix by hiking, biking, and other outdoor activities. We know that we can boost endorphins and decrease cortisol levels from the experience of being outdoors. Keep in mind the Cortisol is a hormone produced in the body by the adrenal glands, its activating presence leads to the physical responses involved in “fight or flight.” When cortisol is contained in overabundance in our bodies it can lead to many forms of disease, weight gain, and chronic stress to name a few. So in short, discovering ways to reduce cortisol’s overabundance in our bodies is vital, the mental health community is ready to explore many ways to expound upon the health benefits of spending more time outdoors.
Here are a few of our therapists top 12 to be well, ways to enjoy the outdoors:
Learn to forage for wild edible plants and berries with an expert guide.
Take your lunch break outdoors, even a ten minute walk helps.
Learn how to do a walking meditation.
Create an outdoor space at your home.
Pack a picnic with your dog or your partner.
Try to go camping.
Do some star gazing.
Take a flower sniffing tour.
Plant a garden and make some farm to table meals of your own.
Pick up litter, we can even be altruistic with our wellness.
Ask your therapist to do an outdoor walking session.
Take an outdoor fitness or yoga
We love western Pennsylvania and finding ways to enhance wellness with our abundant green outdoor spaces.
This short wellness moment is brought to you by our licensed professional counselors and wellness providers at The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh.
Be Well Pittsburgh, Monroeville, and Western Pennsylvania!
830 Western Avenue Pittsburgh PA 15233
2539 Monroeville BLVD Monroeville PA 15146Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghJanuary 22, 2018 counseling, meditation, mindfulness, wellness, wellness pittsburgh, yoga0 comments
Be Your Own Beloved: Cultivating Self Care
Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh, 830 Western ave, Pittsburgh 15233
Saturday Feb 10, 10am
Being your own beloved means treating yourself with the same love and kindness as you would to a dear friend. Just like you cannot fill from an empty cup, you cannot fully love someone else until you love yourself. This Valentines Day, give yourself (and your partner) the gift of self-care.
Join Kayla Hersberger, yoga instructor, essential oil lover, and advocate for natural living in this seminar which will include;
A guided heart-opening meditation
A writing exercise (bring your journal!)
Tips for starting and maintaining a self-care practice
Instruction to self-massage with essential oils
We kindly ask for a $5 love donation to cover the cost of oils, but no one will be turned away due to lack of funds.Learn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghFebruary 7, 2017 counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, dating, divorce, marriage counseling, meditation, personal growth, psychology, therapists, therapy, wellness, wisdom, yoga0 comments
The Valentine’s Day Love Manual For Singles, Married, and Those Who Never Want to Date Anyone Ever
We develop patience because we come to understand demandingness, we best learn to love by having our hearts broken, when our dignity is usurped, and our sanity called into question, sometimes this is the starting point for some wondrous growth and opportunity. We develop spirit by first living soullessly, we begin the path toward discipline because we know the deleterious dangers of living in the aimless direction of ego and ID driven revelry. For the month of February, many of us are more focused on love and relationships with Valentine’s Day upon us. As therapists, as women, humans, lovers and people who know just a little bit about the psychology of relationships, we offer this, The Valentine’s Day Love Manual for Singles, Married, Dating, and Those Who Never Want to Date Anyone Ever. Lets make love to the world with our song, our breath, our actions, and the beautiful ripples of our actions come to life.
1-“The First Rule of The Love Manual” For The Singles, The Free Birds Fluttering Brightly.
Love Your Self!
If we are going to ever get anything done in this world we must first love ourselves. If we don’t come from a place of self-acceptance, self-love, self-compassion, we will never be able to move beyond animal nature, we will never have any real relationship with anyone, anything, or any project. So if you’re single and loving it, rather work on perfecting your down dog or grooming your cats mane, that’s ok, just as long as it comes from a place of mindful self-love, we think that’s swell! You see as we humans evolve, we no longer pay as much attention to where we are going but instead it is how are we getting there, what is the motivation for action? Sound lofty? It is and that’s exactly what we are going for, something a little more! We can fall in a million different directions if we don’t practice mindfulness vigilantly, we may fall backwards into lesser motivation. Motivation, if not coming from love, is then derived from ego, ego quests for power, attention, praise, control, and per The Sage and All of the Worlds Ancient Ones, the ego culminates inferior instincts.
2- “The Second Rule of the Love Manual”, To Be Used If you want to attract great love into your life;
Love Your Self!
Like attracts like or like attracts the opposite, most importantly those who we share attraction with are those who vibrate on the same frequency as our root identity or self-concept. If we are vibrating in our lower elements, or energy centers of the physical realm, we will fall into relationships that are purely on the physical realm, which can be really great if that’s what two people are wanting together. Perhaps we have entered the emotional stage of development, then we will invariably only commit to relationships which mirror that. Perhaps we are vibrating from ego, and we quest for idolatry or fame, we may look only for those who embody false values such as vanity or fame. If we value power then we connect on that plane, if we truly love ourselves, as we develop spirit, then we will only connect with those who have peaked the crescendo toward those levels of being; spirit, morality, goodness, compassion, authenticity, and respect. When we love ourselves, we only acquiesce with those who mirror to us genuine affection.
The Third Rule of The Love Manual, For Those who are in a relationship long or short term, to keep the Love Strong,
Yes, you guessed it!
Love Your Self!
How does loving yourself keep things in balance for long-term relationships? Well unless we are discussing an extreme form of narcissism, chances are we think of your partners needs and do it often. For some, it is hard or guilt inducing to incorporate some self-indulgence into life rituals. How do we make time for a jog in the park when our wife is finishing with work and will be disappointed if we aren’t at home early? Before we know it, we haven’t constructed a relationship, we have constructed a cage! We choose and choose again, others needs and requests far beyond our own and resultant we consciously and unconsciously become overwhelmed, withdrawn, frustrated, passive aggressive, withholding, and depressed. This is not helpful for our love, and furthermore when we don’t love with boundaries, healthy limits, and in loving acknowledgment of our own needs we are not participating in a relationship or marriage, this is bondage and emotional servitude. So go ahead, choose yourself, love yourself and value yourself and watch your relationships flower beautifully!
In love, kindness, warmth, and respect,
The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh Therapy TeamLearn More
by Counseling and Wellness Center of PittsburghDecember 28, 2016 counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, educational, meditation, mindfulness, personal growth, psychology, therapist, wellness0 comments
Wellness Hacks; 17 for 2017
Our Therapists Have Compiled 17 Wellness Hacks for your Holistic Optimization. We fancy this list diverse and have included something for individuals, couples, and lovers, we think that this list is so good that it may even have the wellness power to turn a hater to a lover or at least a frown to a smile! Why 17 you may ask? Well, because its year 2017 silly and we want to stick with the theme on this one! If you are much like the rest of the world, you may be wondering how you will fulfill your weight loss goals, how to improve your BMI and drop those pounds on the scale. Well in that case, this is not the article for you but you should continue to read anyway because our professional counselors and wellness gurus are offering you our best wellness hacks for your physical, emotional, spiritual and relational health, this stuff goes so much deeper than the numbers on a scale, when it comes to wellness, we have you covered! If you’re ever in a pinch, like on Wheel of Fortune or something, just remember this, “You can’t spell wellness without “WE”!”
Smiling when in a bad mood is scientifically proven to alter the mood- Yes that’s right, fake it till you make it has a purpose in psychology, smiling alone can be enough to lift your bad morning grumble back into your best internally smiling face and have your ready to sing a happy tune. Learn more here. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/smile-it-could-make-you-happier/
Curate a Healthy SEXXX Life- Do it and do it well, meaning feel good about it, find your orgasm, let go of the mindset that sex is chore or will put you on the naughty list. Healthy, safe, mindful, consensual sex is a stress reliever, a mood enhancer, it has predictive power into the longevity of bonds when its studied within the context of long term relationships. Don’t miss a beat, cuddle up to your partner and enjoy those sheets!
Your ego is not your amigo- Ego crusaders, the Buddhists, they know a thing or two about the ego, we don’t want to get all philosophical on you, or um maybe we do?! Ok, you caught us but how can we help but to share our enthusiasm, some magical things start to happen when we shift away from ego consciousness. According to the Yogis and Buddhists, when we let go of ego attachment and “I” we just may end up basking in the golden light of nirvana, ascending enlightenment and finding oneness with the universe, who could argue with that?!
Coconut Oil- Buy it, use it, eat it, rub it, mix it in smoothies, as an eco-friendly non-toxic furniture polish, as a conditioner, as an oil treatment, as an antimicrobial agent, as a source of fat that insulates the fibers which sustain neurofunction!!!!! Holy wow! Coconut oil is all that and some, follow this link for 107 of our favorite coconut oil uses here. http://everydayroots.com/coconut-oil-uses
Brush and Floss With Baking Soda and Peroxide- There is a reason that many of our leading tooth pastes and products use baking soda and peroxide, it’s because they work brilliantly. Give it a try!
Deep breathing meditation- Meditation and deep breathing can calm, energize, fuel the body, stop addiction, we can go on and on and on and we plan to!
Chew Slowly- One of the reasons smoothies and juices have such excellent nutritional power is because they are easy to digest once macerated. Chewing slowly helps our body produce chemicals necessary to digest and nourish. It’s no coincidence that we are hosting a mind body workshop and offering a chewing meditation in January, it’s because these things work! http://www.counselingwellnesspgh.com/wellness-classes-and-workshops/
Boundaries- This is key in all relationships, at other times such as in flings, marriages, or partnerships with psychopathic, narcissistic, antisocial, and borderline types clinging tight to boundaries is imperative. Step one-Create emotional, physical, and interpersonal boundaries which are minimum standard levels for treatment. Step two- if those boundaries are violated accept your hurt and anger as healthy and rational. Step 3- Assess for how to respond. Has this person overstepped boundaries before? Is it likely to happen again? Is it a threat to physical safety or emotional health? Looking at these questions will guide you to make constructive decisions moving forward.
Sleep Hygiene- Our therapists love sleep hygiene and creating wellness routines which examine how we sleep. Our nighttime rituals and how those bedtime pastimes are effecting restfulness is a great way to get those repairative, restorative, and vital Zzzzz’s on track, who could forget that sleep is one of the most fundamental building blocks for emotional and physical health.
Exercise, we can’t say enough about it for emotional wellness and longevity- Per the American heart association, as little as 30 minutes 4x a week has some benefits. We know that most Americans are missing the mark when it comes to physical activity. Yet here it is as an effective tool to boost mood, reduce anxiety, promote calm, enhance body image, yes, it is that good! Get moving whether it’s down dog or a quick jog, and for good measure, talk to your doctor to be sure exercise isn’t contraindicated for you!
Communicate and do it well- Study the language that you use to frame your thinking and your speech, it has much to do with the outcomes you experience and the way people interact with you. Whether in our family, romantic or work relationships, we should use direct, meaningful, purpose driven communication and then sit back and enjoy the results that you can create.
Listen and do it well- As an addendum to ^^^^^ it’s not only speaking that we must master but a large part of speaking is listening, as therapists, listening is our super power but this is a practice which helps all conversation. When we are at our best it’s a 50/50 deal, knowing what we need to say often begins with listening to others, and if we are being real, listening and really hearing is sometimes hard as heck because its often easy to hear what we want to hear instead of what is being said.
Dream Journal- Study those dreams, record them, start to notice the unconscious patterns and communications, it can be a huge opportunity for life transformation. Typically, the help of a psychotherapist who offers dream interpretation is necessary for this. It is often very hard to understand the meaning of our dreams but working with someone who speaks dream language and metaphor will help you to muddle through your unconscious code with ease! Let the synchronicity unfold!
Try a laughing meditation- Think that meditation is just for the strong, stoic serious types? Well think again, there are lots of forms of meditation and this one is one of our favorites. What could be more contagious than laughter? We cant think of much and this is a contagion we would like to catch!
Volunteer- We know, you barely have time to wash your socks and you’re reading these wellness hacks to get better with yourself so why are we getting all humanitarian on you? Take a cleansing breath wellness warrior. Volunteering is great for everyone and if you have never tried it, you might find that most of us are socially wired to feel good about helping. Social Exchange Theory says so if you don’t believe us! This is a two for the price of one deal!
Take time for yourself every week, make it a priority- Alright, now back to you! This one we insist upon, its necessary, its vital, its “ME TIME.” Sadly, the people who need it the most likely don’t take it much but if we are filling up the emotional cups of those who are around us we really need to serve ourselves first. Before you count yourself as selfish, it’s not just for us, it’s for our friends, spouse, and ability to achieve too…
Love and trust yourself first– This self-loving thing is our final point, this is us saving the best for a last. Be watchful of anyone who threatens, mocks, or tries to diminish your love, trust in yourself, and your precious instincts. When we lead our lives with self-love, every action becomes more natural, our behavior more nourishing, this is the final step, with brimming half-full cups we salute, we connect, we tend ourselves, each other, and the planet here! All we really need is a little self-love, la, la, laaaoove!
Peace, love, and good health,
The Counseling and Wellness Center of Pittsburgh Therapy Team
830 Western Avenue Pittsburgh