coaching Tag

Aphrodisiacs—For Couples, Turning on your lust Valentine Treats

It’s Valentine’s Day, the time of year when romance and affection become central to our hearts and minds. What better way for you and your loved one to mutually celebrate your bond than with warm and flush cheeks, rapidly beating heart, and maybe even a dose of perspiration. Aphrodisiacs promise to invoke all of these responses and much more. Aphrodisiacs have long been revered for their power to make men stand a bit taller and women’s blood to rush with desire. The term seems to have come from ancient Greece and their Goddess “Aphrodite” the goddess of love. The fascination with desire invoking serums and tinctures did not end with the Greeks, time seems to have inflamed our human impulse to create that symposium of flavors which will invoke our less easily satiable appetites. For any of us in a long term loving union, single, or dating, Valentine’s Day is a most spell inducing context to permit ones appetite to be beckoned towards gluttony. Please remember that the magically seductive properties of the following aphrodisiacs will be dually heightened if shared within a loving atmosphere spellbound by the flicker of candle light, melodiously chattering conversation, and maybe even the wafting sweet aroma of flowers.  

Truffles-The truffle has remained one of the most sought after delicacies throughout time, it is earthy and woody with a delicate pungency which is sure to inflame each and every one of the senses. The white truffles is even more esteemed than the black and either way if you want to be certain that your lover erects gratitude, deliver a touch of this refined flavor. They are an excellent accompaniment to dress upon most any meat or vegetable. The process by which the mushrooms are discovered is equally fascinating as they are excavated by pigs which are ever attracted to the pheromones the mushrooms emit. Pheromones may also contribute to the Truffles aphrodisiac qualities as they contain the same chemicals which are found within human sweat, which believe it or not is lust enhancing chemical.

Garlic– There is indeed something mystical about this potent and “stinking onion”. Modern days prize it for its anti-microbial functions, high antioxidant content, and gourmands revere its bold taste. Garlic contains the active compound Allicin, this has the alchemical property of increasing blood flow which is sure to heighten lust. This aphrodisiac is best enjoyed by pairs of two lest you want your lover to be repelled much like the mythical vampires which it purportedly scatters to the distant winds.

Oils-From cold pressed organic extra virgin olive oil to the myriad of nut oils there are so many uses and pleasures to be associated with each. Any lover whose impulse towards tasty pleasures is so misaligned to express derision for the fat yielding content of the oils while not undressing its delicate flavors and propensity towards viscosity should remain far from the prep station. By lavishly soaking your finest cut of meat or vegetables in a seasoned concoction of oil, the dish will be rendered ready for the sizzling heat of a sear or sauté while still retaining its internal moisture! I personally assure you that most any food which bursts with moisture has aphrodisiac qualities.

Honey-The creation of laborious effort by tiny bees, buzzing about from flower to flower, fertilizing as they zip through the air, anything born of fertilization certainly qualifies as an aphrodisiac. Ever wonder why newlyweds go on a honeymoon? Historically they were given a jug of mead upon their departure, mead is a drink made from sensual enhancing fermented honey. Cleopatra is said to have used honey in the art of seduction by sharing it with her lovers amidst her erotic regions. If you haven’t found enough reasons to get yourself a large vat of honey, you can also note that honey is bursting with boron which is a metabolite of estrogen a hormone playing a role in arousal for both men and women.

Oysters– There is indeed something lurid and suggestive about the shape of the oyster, Casanova is purported to have consumed more than 50 of these pearl producing gems every day through his life. The salty and sea water infused flesh is teeming with zinc which aids in the production of testosterone, strong hormonal balance certainly heightens the arousal phase of any steamy interlude.

Dark Chocolate– Esteemed as a nectar of the gods and at one time reserved for only the royalty. In fact, Montezuma made a daily ritual of consuming a hot cocoa which was infused with chili peppers which are known to invoke their own power over the appetites of lust. Simultaneously, we offer chocolates to loved ones during most every holiday as tryptophan activates our brains pleasure centers.  Of course, any quality chocolate the sensual properties are further exacerbated with the accompaniment of pleasant company, laughter and perhaps even a glass of wine.

Enjoy the Aphrodisiacs friends, fans, and lovers and always remember that the greatest lust enhancing potion is that which is enjoyed from the sultry warmth of a healthy and loving relationship!

Love and warmth,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

412-215-1986

Reviving Minds Therapy

1010 Western Avenue

Pittsburgh Pa 15233

http://www.alternet.org/story/132846/the_top_10_aphrodisiac_foods?page=0%2C1

http://gourmetfood.about.com/od/holidayspecialtyfoods/ss/aphrodisiacfoods_17.html

Wounded Warrior, How to Survive a Loss of Love, Divorce Counseling and Breaking Up

   Wounded warrior, How to Survive a Loss of Love…

The termination phase of love is a magnificent hurtle or sticking point for many of the lovers out there. Even if all seems hopeless right now, I want anyone wounded in love to recognize that there is abundant likelihood that your heart, mind, and spirit will make a full recovery. This does however require one to make use of some specific skill sets, your coping mechanisms. It is in fact coping skills coupled with awareness and integration of new learning which make that full recovery more expedient and probable.

We know some of the story, loss of the hopes, dreams, and connection that was once shared are indeed hard let go, fearing or believing that one will never love again. False thoughts and stumbling points can turn our mind against itself for a short period of time. Breakups, for the mutually agreed upon, or even for both the initiator and receiver of the news that the relationship has become terminal, all should know that there will be challenges in these changes. Chin up wounded warrior- adversity is the starting point for opportunity!

As a Psychotherapist and Marriage Counselor I have helped clients with accepting, managing, and resolving the grief of lost love.  It is important to note there are two phases to the loss, Termination and Resolution. Termination is when there has been a verbal agreement to call it quits, the cognizant thought that “it’s over” and the sting after pulling off the band aid! Responses vary from emotional outpourings, edginess, anxiety, fear. Long nights vegetating with ice cream and sad movies become the cliché. Moving beyond this juncture requires acceptance of the loss and consolidation of the feelings associated with it. Resolution implies successful termination and the process of grieving reaching its timely closure.  Sounds easy but why is this process the focus of so many movies and songs? Ummm…because broken hearts hurt! Breaking up brings up many reactions and is often hardest when they touch upon some of the unresolved emotional issues such as abandonment and fear of being alone, and or self-esteem in need of some strengthening.

Here are some of the typical stumbling blocks during the early phases of a breakup;

Obsessing- The stern face of determination and a destiny manifesto mapping the route back to the lost lover! Convinced to find a way of bringing Timmy or Tara back into your longing arms and with enough self-work, stalking, and or compromising you will again reach land of happy, happy, the end! NOT! This shows little regard or respect for yourself or your departed lover, if the relationship is over you must embrace some dignity for yourself and walk away with head held high. Repeated phone calls, Cyber stalking, or showing up at places where you know they will be is going to diminish your image in their eyes and most importantly in your own! What is it that you are seeking to avoid by continually calling, is it loneliness or fear that is beckoning you to desperate measures to seek reunion?

A Few Tears for a farewell-  Many people become confused by feelings. False thoughts leading the presumption that if you miss someone or feel sad about a breakup that you should call him or her and make a teary eyed plea for the love. This is not true, if there were solid reasons and feelings on one or both ends to terminate then give it up already. Feeling sad and or slightly displaced by the big change of not spending time with your former mate is sure to create some inner angst. Recognize it and know that this is because you are a fabulous person capable of great love but do not make it a reason to pick up the phone. It is a good time to expand your social horizon and reach out to your friends, family, and social supports. Rely upon them while strengthening your inner resources during your grieving process.

Drinking- So you are feeling pretty awful or even maybe excited to expand your horizons and you find that you are spending more time with a cocktail glass in your hand. Drinking to excess, too much and too often is a sure way to zap energy and decrease positive emotions. This is a cautionary tale and I assure you that during a break up it is a crucial time to embrace structure and healthy coping mechanisms to deal with your grief.  

Insert BABE here- The lonely feelings are pulling you down? House is eerily quiet, weekends unfilled with company? Quick solution, fill that void with something or no– fill it with someone, fill it with anyone so you don’t need to feel alone!!!!! Hold that thought—STOP! Relationship junkies take a breather and consider just what you are avoiding by wanting to attach to anyone who passes your gaze. Relationships and even flings that are borne from fear of loneliness or the want to make another jealous are ultimately dehumanizing for both parties and do more to erode the self than promote happiness. Hold out for true healing before putting any of your energy back into a love mate, remember two broken wings don’t fly but two strong and pluming wings shall soar!  Instead enjoy the opportunity to come into your self and rediscover who you are as one no longer a part of a marriage or relationship.

Hear no evil speak no evil-Speaking poorly about your ex-lover is going to make you look like the monster not the ex. No matter what the conditions of the divorce or breakup one must practice respect for the memory of the relationship and dignity of the self. If there is something that you must vent about do so with a close friend or family member or therapist. If you tell everyone you meet about what a jerk and loser Sammy or Sally is, those around you are sure to wonder why you would waste your time and love on someone whom you regard so negatively. It is always best to simply say that you are both moving on respectfully to those who may inquire.

Look forward to next week—Beyond grief into bloom.

If you have any of other thoughts, questions, or words of wisdom please be welcome to share!

In abundant love, warmth, and wisdom,

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Reviving Minds Therapy

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

412-215-1986

1010 Western Ave Pittsburgh Pa 15233

A World of Wellness and Psychotherapy

Wellness seems to have become one of those kitschy buzzwords, ever floating about, an aspiration, a lofty goal, just another on the list as “something for those other people.” As provocative or anxiety inducing as the term may be for you, it does comprise some ambitious and noteworthy components for the average person struggling to make ends meet while juggling a 9-5 and a house full of other attention demanding cues. Despite what we may often try to ignore, it is in our own best interest as well as the best interest of all of those around us, to regularly checkin with ourselves. By taking some time to reflect, we can determine whether we are taking advantage of the best and most well informed information to guide our self-care plan.  If the term self-care plan makes you gasp or giggle, that’s ok too, often it is simply the act of being mindful of the important areas of functioning and turning up your your inner voice, you will be on your way in the right direction.

You may be well served to ask yourself,

“How am I maintaining balance in my life?” 

“How is your mood, energy, and appetite?”

“How are your relationships?”

“How do you feel about yourself?”

What is it like to reflect upon yourself in such a way? Are these questions which you often do not ask yourself because for one reason or another? Wellness counseling is the exploration of external and internal behaviors which are preventing you from achieving the wholeness and health for which you may be striving. Often as humans we have a long list of wants, such as losing a few pounds, having greater energy, finishing the last parts of our dissertation, keeping our home in better order, being a better parent/child/spouse. If this sounds like you, you very likely may be feeling frustrated and stagnant if your desire to achieve is stilted buy some level of conscious but very amendable behavior. As a therapist who is also very well versed in the relationship between the mind, body, and the many layers of self, I understand that it is important to formulate a life plan which is inclusive of wellness and heath related goals that often extend beyond the benefits of psychotherapy. Together we can work on a new template for life which will encourage and enhance your preexisting strengths and also identify and remove those tendencies which are preventing your complete holistic optimization.  Some of the non-traditional areas for which I may be able to help include,

• Breath work
• Dietary examination including your relationship with food
• Health related goals
• Emotions and enhancing your relationship with yourself
• Goal Obtainment
• Meditation

If any of these goals are something that you think you may be interested in pursuing, come in for a free consultation where we can talk about how to get you started on the path to true wellness. At Reviving Minds, we understand that your true human nature is to be vibrant and healthy and with an outside perspective you will have a greater opportunity to grow beyond the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors and instead you will move into a position where you be at your best, exuding contentment and health!

Feel well, live well, be well!

Stephanie McCracken MSPC

Reviving Minds Therapy

Offering Psychotherapy and Marriage Counseling

412-215-1986

1010 Western Avenue

Pittsburgh Pa 15233